✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition ✨🕵️‍♂️ pt. 1 the parking spot 🗂️🔍

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 1 ✶ the lil parking spot slip

aka:
connecting the dots
now that i’m not being choked out

✨👐🏻😵✨

—

ok.

baby,
i’m not even swinging yet.
this is just...
remembering shit.
🐌💭

—

it’s early october—

✨🤔💭

(or: literally directly prior—
to the fucking
✨repeated homicide endeavors✨)

—

my soon-to-be fugitive of a husband says:

“[cubicle goblin] got me parking.”💫✨

and like a loving,
deranged,
currently-pregnant wife
funding this man’s fake job
and babe,
i’m 6 months pregnant.
fucking broke.
barfing.
busting my ass
cleaning houses
so this man can pretend
he’s “building a client index.”
and i’m like:

“aw, she helped him get a parking pass.” 🤷‍♀️✨

lol,
nah—
babe.
she was the parking pass.✨
the whole ass carpool.
the whole ass setup.
the decoy so mid—
i never even
saw that shit coming.

lol.

he didn’t just hustle me.
he required
third-party financing 💫
to do it.
in my fucking vehicle.

🔥🗑️

let’s break this the fuck down:

—

🧠 fraudboy had a car.
🚫 he did not have a job.
📍 there was parking at the office.
🫠 there was no income.

but instead of using
literally any of that
like a normal employed human,
this broke bitch
fucking detours?
after a
1 hour and 5 minutes
rush-hour drive
to her apartment?
parked there,
then rode with her 🧌💕
the last
~12 minutes
to the fucking office?

every.
single.
day?

wait,
are we serious?

i hope that’s a joke. 🤞🏻✨

—

so now
we’re here.
and
after reviewing my records 🗂️🔍✨
and now
reading between
the fucking in-office
demonic-goblin-affair lines—
timeline’s look fucking cooked.
let’s run it:

you’re telling me—

✨🤔💭

…every single person
in that office
🤡👉🤡✨
for at least
three full fucking months
saw the same thing:

🚘 him pulling up with her
👯 them frolicking in together
🪑 them sitting next to each other
🍴 them leaving for a bar (aka lunch) together
📉 months in with zero production
🤫 while sanctioning midnight private-apartment “team meetings”
🧾 knowing he’s still on my fucking tab?

and this
motherfucker strolls 🕺✨🧌
…into a training room
with a fucking whole-ass
PowerPoint that said:

“FuckBoi Lowe — Expecting (Jan 30)”

…

👀 ✨🤔💭 (…is bro having a baby…? 🫄✨)

excuse me??????

you were
broadcasting my
fucking c-section
like it was a quarterly goalpost
while this guy was
running a full-on
career-extortion-scam
punching his wife into obedience✨
and rolling up—
with his
weirdly intimate
brand-new female “coworker”? 👋😐💖🧌

…

✨🤔

…

and no one pulled him aside? 👀🫵👋💻

—

yo.
y’all are wild. ✨

you just didn’t give a fuck.

🙂👍✨💼

y’all knew.
PowerPoint dude—
made the slide.
this is the same
fucking used carsalesman
👋😊🔑🚗 ✨ —that gave me
the onboarding pitch
months fucking earlier.
bro, my guy knew
i was about to pop—
working my balls off
cleaning houses
while they all got
catered fucking breakfast.

—

👈🏽✨🤷🏽✨👉🏽

he didn’t give a fuck.

babe—
💀🫵
you are the
original fucking
inducement—
that got me
fully-fucking trapped
in this hellhole
🏝️💀🍹

but nah?
didn’t see shit?

while supervising?

👀🤷🏽🤡

word.

i ain’t buying it.

—

🚨 they all knew i was pregnant.
🚨 they all knew he was broke.
🚨 they had direct fucking knowledge of the misconduct
🚨 they all saw he wasn’t producing—
🤷‍♂️💸🕳️ for my entire fucking pregnancy…and
🚨 they still let me fund the whole fucking thing anyway.

—

so—💥 that’s a fucking trap.

shit.
how the fuck—
was i supposed to
exit that scenario
at my most fucking vulnerable??
😔🫂✨ (pause: gives self an actual hug)

🗣️✨ yo.
you locked me the fuck in
to a deadly exploitation. 🔒😭[🫨]

and look,
one little fact.
one little record—
and the picture
starts to come together
this wasn’t negligence.
this was a group fucking project —
and i was
the only bitch 👉🏻🤰🏼
that was a financial sponsor—
but not invited
to the “awkward”
fucking group chat.

—

🤡 ✨🤝🏻✨

baby—
this wasn’t “morning meetings.”
this was flagrant co-sponsoring.
👀 this wasn’t passive.
shit was tactical.
it was visible,
it was fully fucking formed.
and it had layers of approval.
daily—
then?
strategically
fucking
concealed.

✨🕳️👩‍🦯✨

—

sweetheart, 🕯️
i’m gunna hold your hand—😭💖
they didn’t just ignore signs.
they actively benefited from the fraud.
they watched a pregnant woman
fund a man’s training,
housing,
wardrobe,
and client acquisition
while he was spending every weekday morning✨
in a car with the generation wealth gremlin
who was assigned to her financial profile
and no one made a note?
✨🙈🙉🙊

L
O
fucking✨
L

🤡🔫💥✨terrible fucking criminals.✨

—

in conclusion:

my life?
my pregnancy?
my marriage?
my money?
my FUCKING baby? ✨👶🏼

babe—

an office fucking inside joke.

✨💼🤫🛌✨

🧠 sounds like…actual knowledge.

—