finance & fucking ✨fairy dust✨
what in the—
crackhead cinderella story? 🧚♀️✨
welcome to the delusion of
the financial firm fucking fairytale
straight from hell—
get ready to
steady repeat the
inner monologue of—
”the fuck?”
babe,
they market castles.
i got a halfway house with a fraud ring.
shorties brag “flexible, lucrative, compliant.”
i got broke, beaten, fucking lied to, and
evidently
almost murdered 😭🔪✨
in a violent attempt
to conceal an in-office goblin liaison— ✨
…third trimester.✨
🪄
✨
🧚♀️✨
🌈🦋🍄✨
🔮✨
✨
✨
✨
🤫✨
📱💔
😈🐍✨
🤥💍🚗✨
…
girl—
💥 shit ain’t a fucking fairy tale.
it was a fucking goddamn hostage situation in subpar work attire.
💥👊✨🤫🚪🚶
—
let’s review the notes—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“first-year earnings
$50k–$100k, denver avg $75k.”
✨poof 🪄🎩✨🐇 💥 reality =
🤥🐍 hubby (while i was pregnant):
under $2,000 in 7 months.
≈2% of their own advertised range.
i was in that office.
i brought my mom.
i met the reps at parties.
not one of them said, “he’s failing.”
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“flexible schedule, be your own boss, work-life balance.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
60 hours a week chained to their office.
home 7–8pm, sometimes midnight.
texts about “group work” and “strategy sessions.”
he’s parking 15 minutes away,
feeding me bar-lunch / night excuses.
that is not “flexible.” appears to be cover.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“mentorship, licensing support, path to success.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
i liquidated $8k tuition refund.
+ $10k in savings—
borrowed $5k from my grandma—
i covered $15k+ in licensing, travel, expenses.
i took on a $40k car loan. ($5k down)
he totals my paid off car within 3 months.
(via late night errand to nowhere)
in 7 months.
all for him to produce nothing.
his “mentorship” = being told by a senior advisor
he had to be in the office every day, all week,
while i was in my third trimester.
he quit soon after. (out of fucking nowhere)
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“compliance protects the client, conflicts disclosed.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby & financial rep. actually did:
january 12, 2024: she’s assigned as my consultant.
already inappropriate with him? in retrospect? seems so.
january 16: i’m in the ER, victim of DV.
january 17: she venmos him $100. why? i have no fucking idea.
weeks later, she’s in my house, holding my newborn.
no disclosure. no reassignment.
compliance muted.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“reps start with warm contacts, convert friends & family.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
he ripped 300 names from my phone.
converted zero.
0/300.
he kept telling me “he was about to close”
do the math: even cold calls close at 2–5%.
warm market should have landed something.
the only explanation: he wasn’t actually working.
you would think the office that induced me while
pregnant to fund him…would…notice?
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“networking events are occasional, optional.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
constant late nights, bars, “off-site meetings.”
near-midnight + never home; every week.
no revenue, no record, no disclosure.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“policy servicing is transparent, owners notified.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby & nm actually did:
policies tied to my bank account
were lapsed, changed, voided and
reassigned behind my back.
no notice. no consent.
i only learned in 2025 when my
new advisor admitted—
my original rep? girl was removed for an
“awkward relationship” with my fucking husband.
—
💥 🫨
wtf just happened here?
✨🤥✨🚗💥👊✨
they market flexibility,
income, and compliance.
what i lived was
forced office hours, zero pay,
300 stolen contacts,
being beaten into submission—
when i question
an emotionally/financially invested
female “team-member”
who is openly fucking encouraged—
who straight cut out the legal wife,
to get to the client’s husband—
we got—
policy tampering,
silence
and overty concealment
from every single one of them—
who shook my hand
while i was carrying his child.
—
🪄✨💥
what’s that
look like to y’all?
my husband
💥 earning
$1.10 an hour—
my entire fucking pregnancy.
✨🌈🦋
🧚♀️✨ finra
