finance & fucking ✨fairy dust✨
what in the—
crackhead cinderella story? 🧚♀️✨
welcome to the delusion of
the financial firm fucking fairytale
straight from hell—
get ready to
steady repeat the
inner monologue of—
”the fuck?”
babe,
they market castles.
i got a halfway house with a fraud ring.
shorties brag “flexible, lucrative, compliant.”
i got broke, beaten, fucking lied to, and
evidently
almost murdered 😭🔪✨
in a violent attempt
to conceal an in-office goblin liaison— ✨
…third trimester.✨
🪄
✨
🧚♀️✨
🌈🦋🍄✨
🔮✨
✨
✨
✨
🤫✨
📱💔
😈🐍✨
🤥💍🚗✨
…
girl—
💥 shit ain’t a fucking fairy tale.
it was a fucking goddamn hostage situation in subpar work attire.
💥👊✨🤫🚪🚶
—
let’s review the notes—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“first-year earnings
$50k–$100k, denver avg $75k.”
✨poof 🪄🎩✨🐇 💥 reality =
🤥🐍 hubby (while i was pregnant):
under $2,000 in 7 months.
≈2% of their own advertised range.
i was in that office.
i brought my mom.
i met the reps at parties.
not one of them said, “he’s failing.”
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“flexible schedule, be your own boss, work-life balance.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
60 hours a week chained to their office.
home 7–8pm, sometimes midnight.
texts about “group work” and “strategy sessions.”
he’s parking 15 minutes away,
feeding me bar-lunch / night excuses.
that is not “flexible.” appears to be cover.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“mentorship, licensing support, path to success.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
i liquidated $8k tuition refund.
+ $10k in savings—
borrowed $5k from my grandma—
i covered $15k+ in licensing, travel, expenses.
i took on a $40k car loan. ($5k down)
he totals my paid off car within 3 months.
(via late night errand to nowhere)
all in…7 fucking months.
for him to produce nothing.
his “mentorship” = being told by a senior advisor
he had to be in the office every day, all week,
while i was in my third trimester.
he quit soon after. (out of fucking nowhere)
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“compliance protects the client, conflicts disclosed.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby & financial rep. actually did:
january 12, 2024: she’s assigned as my consultant.
already inappropriate with him? in retrospect? seems so.
january 16: i’m in the ER, victim of DV.
january 17: she venmos him $100. why? i have no fucking idea.
weeks later, she’s in my house, holding my newborn.
no disclosure. no reassignment.
compliance muted.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“reps start with warm contacts, convert friends & family.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
he ripped 300 names from my phone.
converted zero.
0/300.
he kept telling me “he was about to close”
do the math: even cold calls close at 2–5%.
warm market should have landed something.
the only explanation: he wasn’t actually working.
you would think the office that induced me while
pregnant to fund him…would…notice?
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“networking events are occasional, optional.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
constant late nights, bars, “off-site meetings.”
near-midnight + never home; every week.
no revenue, no record, no disclosure.
—
🧚♀️✨ what nm claims:
“policy servicing is transparent, owners notified.”
🪄✨💥
🤥🐍 what hubby & nm actually did:
policies tied to my bank account
were lapsed, changed, voided and
reassigned behind my back.
no notice. no consent.
i only learned in 2025 when my
new advisor admitted—
my original rep? girl was removed for an
“awkward relationship” with my fucking husband.
—
💥 🫨
wtf just happened here?
✨🤥✨🚗💥👊✨
they market flexibility,
income, and compliance.
what i lived was
forced office hours, zero pay,
300 stolen contacts,
being beaten into submission—
when i question
an emotionally/financially invested
female “team-member”
who is openly fucking encouraged—
who straight cut out the legal wife,
to get to the client’s husband—
he punched me in the fucking head.✨💥
we got—
policy tampering,
silence
and overt concealment
from every single one of them—
who shook my hand
while i was carrying his child.
—
🪄✨💥
what’s that
look like to y’all?
my husband
💥 earning
$1.10 an hour—
my entire fucking pregnancy.
✨🌈🦋
🧚♀️✨ finra
