✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition 💅🥺🔪 pt. 5 new rep, who dis? (ft. zero fucking disclosure)
burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 5 ✶ new rep, who dis?
aka: katie said “yo i’ll take this one”
like it’s a group fucking project
🏃♂️💨🚓
★
yo.
this one’s funny.
so based on
your legal answer,
i got a question—
did cubicle goblin
clock out jan 16th at 11:59pm,
drop her badge
in a fucking trash bag,
and katie stroll in jan 17th
at 8:00am like she’s been
brunching with my
fucking husband
her whole life?
yo. stop.
first thing
this absolute stranger
aka katie does:
email me like
“hey sam, i know brandon”
lmfao
like bitch—
who died and
made you besties
with my violent ex?
👏🙄
no “hey sam,
heads up, rep change.”
nah she saved that to
mock me to my face—
later on.
nah—
no polite
“we’re sorry for the confusion.”
weirdly—
no automated
fuckin’ billing notice
that shows you didn’t
ghost my files
for half a month.
just:
surprise new rep, same circus.
🥸🧐👤
so let’s pick one:
💭🤔
★ reps can teleport and instant-transfer
accounts mid-cycle with no audit trail, 💀
or
★ you yanked jess for an awkward conflict,
slid katie in, and hoped i wouldn’t notice
your sloppy, highly disrespectful fucking cover-up. 💀
—
bro.
my chief legal—
sits in a meeting
and gives me
“what difference does it make.”
what difference?
the difference between
fiduciary duty and
straight-up concealment
of my near
fucking death,
buddy.
😉✨💸🤦
can’t wait to see
why the fuck
you reassigned me
mid-billing cycle
with zero transparency,
and your new girl’s
first fucking brilliant ass move
is to casually call
my former strangulation partner—
by his first name
like they’re swapping
fucking mimosas.
silly bitches,
that’s not a handoff.
that’s a dirty-ass cover job.
lmao.
how did you
make everything
so much worse
with a
boilerplate legal answer?
👏⚖️
yikes bro.
mad skills my
legal demon squad.
★
