“the karen corp. defense fund” ★ ✨🤡🦹🍿 petty, desperate…and openly coming for your man.
★
the karen corp. takover—
petty.
desperate. ✨
disgruntled.
and somehow?
still tryna come for your man
and your money.
…with zero
fucking supervision💫…
it’s giving: securities fraud,
but make it
the criminal master minds 💫
equivalent of mean-girls-at-target.
🦹✨
★
—
🔥 based on the record 🔥
—
😐📸👀✨
what the documents say, already:
✦ they induced our family based on a bundled “financial wellness” onboarding.
✦ fam went through a full financial intake.
✦ insurance. income planning. ira rollover talk. advisor discussions.
✦ sweetie—the original inducement literally said:
“we should hire her, instead of her husband.” 💀
…the fucking foreshadowing here is hilarious.
👀😬🤷✨
anyway—
aka: this wasn’t “just life insurance.”
this was pitched as
umbrella-level fiduciary onboarding.
✨🤝😇🔪
—
me?
✶ disclosed pregnancy. ✨
✶ disclosed financial stress.
✶ disclosed hubby’s vulnerabilities.
✶ asked explicitly to transfer a fucking ira.
—
fast forward—
husband actively
avoids onboarding his own fam
for his entire tenure— ✨🤫💋
but then…days before my daughter’s birth—
girl—his female cubicle wife?
babe!
she appoints herself to my family’s files
“👰🏻♀️🤞🏻🥺💍 “
and what happened?
✶ office girlfriend ignored the actual client (me).
✶ goblin nonstop called my husband.
✶ goblin repeatedly attempted to set up meetings w/ her dad (nyc real estate flex lol). 😈✨
✶ goblin offered job hookups + emotional support (maybe even $$$ after you left co).
✶ goblin continued personal/professional contact w/ him while ghosting the policyholder + payor.
✨🤫💋📄🔥🔪
oh and the best part? 🤡🦹✨
✦ she seemingly took zero follow-up on the ira request.
✦ the only record of that explicit request? deleted.
✦ her insta account? vanished right after litigation hold.
✦ IG DM’s were the only means of contact she gave me to solicit professional assistance.
✦ while constantly pinging my husband’s phone in private…who had no business.
✦ nm now claims there’s no record. no securities talk.
LMFAO. ✨🐷🏛️💰🤝🏻✨
meanwhile: ✨👀
✦ they still solicited you for payments + paperwork.
✦ they casually switched out your rep mid billing cycle w/ “hey what’s up with your hubby brandon lol.”
✦ gave you zero notice, intro, or disclosure.
✦ then deliberately and discreetly, disjointed all my united accounts
+ seemingly caused✨ your policies to all lapse while actively pretending to be servicing you in writing.
✨👱🏼♀️💰🔫✨
lmfao.
—
so… ✨🫵
fiduciary onboarding → to fraudulent ghosting pipeline. 🧠💫
🤡👈✨👉🤡
…a fucking masterclass in malpractice. 💫
or—
fuckboy mutual™: where your rep disappears mid-fraud—faster than your coverage. 💫
babe,
they
evidently had:
petty,
desperate,
malicious—
disgruntled af,
karen-adjacent 💫
fucking amateurs
running a fiduciary onboarding program.
and my goddamn portfolio.
✨🤜🏼🤛🏼✨
aka:
the people who can’t even
run a pta bake sale without inter-mom beef
were suddenly
trusted with securities,
insurance,
ira transfers,
my fucking husband💫—
and my goddamn whole ass
vulnerable family,
during fucking pregnancy + postpartum.
LMFAO. ✨👏🙄
bro, this is a nightmare.
fucking terrifying—truly.✨
★
honey—
that’s not “advising.” 💡
that’s corporate malpractice 🧠
with a side of suburban fucking vendetta.
🤡🍿✨
