“the karen corp. defense fund” ★ ✨🤡🦹🍿 petty, desperate…and openly coming for your man.

★

the karen corp. takover—

petty.
desperate. ✨
disgruntled.
and somehow?
still tryna come for your man
and your money.

…with zero
fucking supervision💫…

it’s giving: securities fraud,
but make it
the criminal master minds 💫
equivalent of mean-girls-at-target.

🦹✨

★

—

🔥 based on the record 🔥

—

😐📸👀✨

what the documents say, already:

✦ they induced our family based on a bundled “financial wellness” onboarding.
✦ fam went through a full financial intake.
✦ insurance. income planning. ira rollover talk. advisor discussions.

✦ sweetie—the original inducement literally said:
“we should hire her, instead of her husband.” 💀

…the fucking foreshadowing here is hilarious.

👀😬🤷✨

anyway—

aka: this wasn’t “just life insurance.”
this was pitched as
umbrella-level fiduciary onboarding.

✨🤝😇🔪

—

me?
✶ disclosed pregnancy. ✨
✶ disclosed financial stress.
✶ disclosed hubby’s vulnerabilities.
✶ asked explicitly to transfer a fucking ira.

—

fast forward—

husband actively
avoids onboarding his own fam
for his entire tenure— ✨🤫💋
but then…days before my daughter’s birth—
girl—his female cubicle wife?
babe!
she appoints herself to my family’s files
“👰🏻‍♀️🤞🏻🥺💍 “

and what happened?
✶ office girlfriend ignored the actual client (me).
✶ goblin nonstop called my husband.
✶ goblin repeatedly attempted to set up meetings w/ her dad (nyc real estate flex lol). 😈✨
✶ goblin offered job hookups + emotional support (maybe even $$$ after you left co).
✶ goblin continued personal/professional contact w/ him while ghosting the policyholder + payor.

✨🤫💋📄🔥🔪

oh and the best part? 🤡🦹✨
✦ she seemingly took zero follow-up on the ira request.
✦ the only record of that explicit request? deleted.
✦ her insta account? vanished right after litigation hold.
✦ IG DM’s were the only means of contact she gave me to solicit professional assistance.
✦ while constantly pinging my husband’s phone in private…who had no business.
✦ nm now claims there’s no record. no securities talk.

LMFAO. ✨🐷🏛️💰🤝🏻✨

meanwhile: ✨👀
✦ they still solicited you for payments + paperwork.
✦ they casually switched out your rep mid billing cycle w/ “hey what’s up with your hubby brandon lol.”
✦ gave you zero notice, intro, or disclosure.
✦ then deliberately and discreetly, disjointed all my united accounts
+ seemingly caused✨ your policies to all lapse while actively pretending to be servicing you in writing.

✨👱🏼‍♀️💰🔫✨

lmfao.

—

so… ✨🫵

fiduciary onboarding → to fraudulent ghosting pipeline. 🧠💫

🤡👈✨👉🤡

…a fucking masterclass in malpractice. 💫

or—
fuckboy mutual™: where your rep disappears mid-fraud—faster than your coverage. 💫

babe,
they
evidently had:
petty,
desperate,
malicious—
disgruntled af,
karen-adjacent 💫
fucking amateurs
running a fiduciary onboarding program.
and my goddamn portfolio.

✨🤜🏼🤛🏼✨

aka:
the people who can’t even
run a pta bake sale without inter-mom beef
were suddenly
trusted with securities,
insurance,
ira transfers,
my fucking husband💫—
and my goddamn whole ass
vulnerable family,
during fucking pregnancy + postpartum.

LMFAO. ✨👏🙄

bro, this is a nightmare.
fucking terrifying—truly.✨

★

honey—

that’s not “advising.” 💡
that’s corporate malpractice 🧠
with a side of suburban fucking vendetta.

🤡🍿✨

✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition 💅🥺🔪 pt. 5 new rep, who dis? (ft. zero fucking disclosure)

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 5 ✶ new rep, who dis?
aka: katie said “yo i’ll take this one”
like it’s a group fucking project

🏃‍♂️💨🚓

★

yo.
this one’s funny.
so based on
your legal answer,
i got a question—
did cubicle goblin
clock out jan 16th at 11:59pm,
drop her badge
in a fucking trash bag,
and katie stroll in jan 17th
at 8:00am like she’s been
brunching with my
fucking husband
her whole life?

yo. stop.

first thing
this absolute stranger
aka katie does:
email me like
“hey sam, i know brandon”
lmfao
like bitch—
who died and
made you besties
with my violent ex?

👏🙄

no “hey sam,
heads up, rep change.”
nah she saved that to
mock me to my face—
later on.
nah—
no polite
“we’re sorry for the confusion.”
weirdly—
no automated
fuckin’ billing notice
that shows you didn’t
ghost my files
for half a month.
just:
surprise new rep, same circus.

🥸🧐👤

so let’s pick one:
💭🤔

★ reps can teleport and instant-transfer
accounts mid-cycle with no audit trail, 💀

or

★ you yanked jess for an awkward conflict,
slid katie in, and hoped i wouldn’t notice
your sloppy, highly disrespectful fucking cover-up. 💀

—

bro.
my chief legal—
sits in a meeting
and gives me
“what difference does it make.”
what difference?
the difference between
fiduciary duty and
straight-up concealment
of my near
fucking death,
buddy.

😉✨💸🤦

can’t wait to see
why the fuck
you reassigned me
mid-billing cycle
with zero transparency,
and your new girl’s
first fucking brilliant ass move
is to casually call
my former strangulation partner—
by his first name
like they’re swapping
fucking mimosas.
silly bitches,
that’s not a handoff.
that’s a dirty-ass cover job.

lmao.
how did you
make everything
so much worse
with a
boilerplate legal answer?

👏⚖️

yikes bro.
mad skills my
legal demon squad.

★

✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition 🤡🔧💥 pt. 4 foreseeability and corporate clown shit

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 4 ✶ foreseeability and corporate malpractice
aka: “no duty?” ➝ are you fucking dumb. 🤡🔧💥 💩

★
my situation?
baby,
fucking mathematically
probable as shit. 💫

but nah,
let’s just talk—
basic old,
statistical fucking certainties 💫✨

because this scenario?
predictable
as the goddamn air you breathe.
annnnndddddd—
fucking foreseeable as shit ✨🕊️

—

ok so.
this is about
inevitable numbers.
because?
y’all are out here
recruiting hundreds. 😎🤙✨
and—
(as you fucking know)
some are partnered
so,
a predictable
fucking percentage
are also…
experiencing dv
this fucking year.

🤪🤷‍♂️✨

almost all
dv cases
include financial abuse.

😶‍🌫️ 👉🤡✨

but you presumably
have fucking training—
a goddamn screening process?
at least some…
fucking oversight?
right? 💫

god fucking dammit. 🤡💩

………..

lmfao.
so.

put those facts together = predictable, recurring harm.

end of fucking story. 💫

—

but for factual sake—
let’s run through
the fucking straight audacity.
because you’re really out here trying to set
a legal fucking standard that declares:

we know we built this shit,
but…🤡🔧💥

✶ “no duty” 🥺✨
✶ “no supervision” 🥺✨
✶ “no accountability” 🥺✨

…????

👉👈🥺✨

ok.

yo—all
while funneling
unlicensed trainees 💥
straight onto
vulnerable fucking families?

🤡🔧💥 🤦🏻‍♂️

ok so,
that’s fucking bullshit.
and sounds legally—
dumb as fuck,
even for my baby brain.

honestly?
feels more like
malpractice
duped up
as a fucking defense.

🙏👼💫

—

run it. 🤡💩

★ the blatant fucking numbers★

➝ you recruit 125+ in colorado every year.
➝ ~60% partnered.
➝ 5–10% of those households are in active dv.
➝ 99% of dv cases = financial abuse. 🤡💩💫

fucking translation:
4–8 families/year, ✨
goddamn guaranteed,
get hit by the exact
same financial trap💫 ✨
you fucking designed.

✨🤡🔧💥

but you’re telling me
“no duty”? 🤡✨

that’s silly shit.
nah.
that’s not a loophole.
that’s a fucking confession.

because
obviously—
y’all are smarter than i am,
so you know,
this shit looks bad.
and yo,
it’s big.
and homie—
that shit’s patterned.
🎪🤡🤡🤡✨

and i think maybe…
they’ll see it too.

😅 ✨

—

ok so
big dawg✨—
you don’t get to:
✶ gaslight epidemiology.
✶ blow off the 99% co-occurrence rates.
✶ hide behind “we couldn’t have known.”

when the math says ➝ yes, you fucking did.✨

★ “no duty” 😇🕊️✨
aka fucking clown shit logic
(legal hit list for the weak)

baby,
you can’t plead
“no duty” 🎪😅✨
when the
structure itself
gives notice and control:

✦ foreseeability 😅 — your hiring +
in-office model makes dv victims
statistically guaranteed each year.
that’s notice.
✦ control 😅 — you fucking design onboarding,
mentorship, compensation, and
goddamn policy assignment.
you could stop it. you chose not to.
✦ benefit 😅 — baby, you were the only one fucking winning.
you profit from spouse-funded policies while denying
the funding spouse visibility. profit + control = fucking responsibility.
✦ omission 😅 = actionable — inducing funding
and then withholding clearly relevant info
is not neutral; it’s an omission that
creates the fucking risk you could have prevented.

say it obviously: ✨foreseeable risk✨ + corporate control + profit motive = ✨duty to supervise and mitigate.✨

—back to
✶ the goddamn disrespect ✶

to my
white guys 🫣✨
in awkward
fucking polos,
are you fucking serious?
you run
a goddamn pipeline
where spouses are induced
to fund but
blocked from visibility. 💫✨
you’ve got
fucking epidemiology
saying 5–8 families
in colorado
every goddamn year
get financially fucking exploited
under that exact setup. 💫✨
and your defense

is “no duty”? 😇✨

that’s some highly disrespectful shit. 🎪✨

—

what you mean to say:
the damage is—

🪄✨inevitable.
🪄✨annual.
🪄 ✨foreseeable.
🪄 ✨and now?

actionable as fuck. 💫

the math:

✶ the pipeline math
➝ ~5,000 hires nationally every fucking year.
➝ ~10 colorado offices (2.5% slice).
➝ that’s ~125 recruits, minimum, in colorado annually.

✶ partnered households
➝ ~60% of u.s. adults are married / cohabiting.
➝ that’s ~72–84 partnered recruits per year.

✶ dv prevalence (past 12 months, conservative floor)
➝ 5–10% of partnered adults.
➝ that’s ~4–8 households per year, every year.

✶ financial abuse rate in dv
➝ 99 fucking %.
➝ every single one of those 4–8 families gets financially goddamn trapped.
➝ not “maybe.” not “rare.” fucking absolutely guaranteed.

✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition ✨🕸️🕷️💋 pt. 3 inducement meets pyramid scheme

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 3 ✶ the entrapment wasn’t an accident.
it was the fundamental fucking business model.

aka: “how the implied pipeline is engineered to trap anyone
with a womb, a wallet, or a shred of loyalty.” ✨🕸️🕷️💋

—

ok let’s talk structure.

because at the top of
this fucking demon-fueled
hell-pyramid
is a white man in
a brand-stamped puffer vest
pretending to be
your financial savior
when really he’s
just a glorified MLM lord
with SEC vulnerabilities.

✨🐷💰🤑

and the lower you go?
the more desperate,
delusional,
and broke the recruits get.
until the “opportunity”
finally fucking lands—
(babe, it’s having parents
with wealthy contacts)
this wasn’t bad luck.
this wasn’t an onboarding hiccup.
this wasn’t a failure of oversight.

…

this was
the imminent goddamn dumpsterfire—
generated and thoughtfully built
to fuel a corporate
fucking pyramid scheme,
vague and exploitative
by fucking design.

✨💰🐍

and it functioned.
until i survived long enough
to sue the fuck back. 🔥

—

they didn’t just let it happen.
they constructed it to happen:

✨ recruit unstable men w/ inflated egos
✨ pressure them to monetize personal relationships
✨ funnel them into client-facing “training” they’re unqualified for
✨ refuse to supervise shit, and then claim “no duty”
✨ push policy quotas with no financial vetting
✨ assign female colleagues with ambiguous boundaries
✨ target their wives, their moms, their girlfriends
✨ stay silent when it implodes

“build your business.”
“start with friends and family.”
“we’ll handle the paperwork.”

✨ 😈✨

lmfao
babe—

they weren’t handling paperwork.
they were laundering fucking abuse
through motherfucking
commission chains.

—

so let’s walk it back:

🤑🤑🤑🤑✨

🕷️🕸️ you assign me a female rep
that’s in an office-wide acknowledged
awkward-intimate personal relationship
with my fucking husband—
13 days before i give birth? 🔥🔥🔥🔥
while she sends him
public venmo payments—
(what even is…compliance?)
and he beats the shit out of me?

🗣️✨ lol, babe—what? is there a problem?

—

🕷️🕸️ you let your rep hold my baby—days after birth?
🗣️✨lmfao, no conflict disclosure—wtf is supervision?

—

🕷️🕸️ she enrolls me into policies i didn’t understand?
🗣️✨ y’all say “well, you signed something—
and we then deleted the paperwork from your portal. heh”

—

🕷️🕸️ i email for help?
🗣️✨ silence. for fucking months.

—

🕷️🔍 your own advisor discloses a conflict—
and i ask some fucking questions?
🗣️✨ y’all LET THE OG TROLL delete her whole fucking account.

—

bro.
you didn’t “miss”
the misconduct.
you encouraged it.

✨🐷💰🤑

and let’s talk
about the looming
legal fucking shitshow: 🕷️

this is textbook:

✦ fraudulent inducement
✦ breach of fiduciary duty
🕯️🥀 egregious-fucking-new-pinnacles of—
✦ failure to fucking supervise (FINRA Rule 3110)
✦ unauthorized rep assignment
✦ constructive concealment of conflict
✦ exploitation of known domestic violence victim
✦ intentional infliction of emotional distress
✦ post-incident spoliation of digital records

—

sweetie—

🧠✨
i wasn’t the “client.”
i was the capital.
the vulnerable family member—
they could openly exploit.
the unpaid sponsor of a man
who couldn’t qualify for the fucking job.

💀🕸️🖤

and when that shit
started to fucking crumble?

naaaaah—

you didn’t intervene.
you closed up the fucking ranks.
like every abusive institution does.

babe—
except now?

i’m not stuck inside it.
i’m documenting the
entire goddamn
fucked up
architecture.

🕷️🥀🕸️🖤

—

✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition ✨✋😬🤚 pt. 2 my pregnant wife beat me up

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 2 ✶ ✨the “my pregnant wife beat me” defense™✨

aka: “we believe women… unless he’s kinda charming or some shit.”

—

ok.

first off,
my demonic other half
repeatedly 💫✨
threatened to fuck with me,
if i ever—
🗣️✨ said out loud
that he fucking beat my ass.

✨👑

babe.
he needed me
to “look crazy”
so he could manipulate
all these dumbasses—
to believe this full grown man
was the one in peril.

😮

lol. bro straight
lost his shit—
threatening:

✦ defamation cases,
✦ collaborated lying,
✦ bold ass—
intimidation tactics
to reverse the narrative💫—
(aka darvo 101; 😩 she hit me first)

—

so this is the ✨official fucking story✨

that i
beat up
a 6’0,
~180 lb,
special ops army ranger
two time combat vet—
while 9 months pregnant,
as i was desperately attempting
to get him—
to leave my fucking condo
on the record.

✨

L
M
F
A
O.

that’s fucking stupid 💫✨

picture it:
this is what they came up with—

✨🤔💭
i’m 39 weeks.
full waddling.
throwing up fucking blood.
working 7 days a week.
no help.
zero fucking money.

he’s,
at this point—
✨not even hiding the mid-day “it’s a meeting, babe” on your debit— cocktail hours.✨

…

and y’all
really think
i suddenly
got the
tactical upper hand—
morphed into 💫
mike fucking tyson? ✨🤔

…and
clocked your
little brokeboi-hero
mid-fucking-toilet-hurl
while peeing myself????

💫✨

ok, call it what it is:

✨the “my pregnant wife beat me” defense™ ✨✋😬🤚
aka: “she made me punch her while she was fighting for her fucking life.”

—lol. you mean to tell me:

this grown ass man ✨🥺👉👈

✦ used my last $40 for gas to drive to denver—
✦ got caught mid-workday, out at a bar with “the team”
✦ constantly lied about his location
✦ cheated under a cubicle & back at her crib—
✦ defrauded me out of thousands
✦ outright screamed at me preggo, in front of his mom (she laughed)
✦ threw me into a wall while i was googling
—hyperemesis gravidarum

and your first thought was: 🤔💡🤡

🧠 “but… she immasculated her husband.”
(yes, i guess by making all the fucking money)

…🙄👏✨

🧠 “and like… what about the scratches on him?”

SCRATCHES?

😵😵😵✨

bro.

that’s standard
domestic violence response protocol💫✨

yo.
the dateline starterpack—
go rerun any fucking 20/20

🧠 “look for DNA under her nails.”
🧠 ”check him for fucking scratches”

🗣️✨ ding ding bitch.

holy shit.
the widespread delusion—

those scratches
are what happens when
you’re fighting for your fucking life ✨
in a blocked room,
after he takes your fucking phone—
against a man
who is goddamn
trained to fucking kill
and lost control. 💫

…

because he almost got caught.

🗣️✨ and i wanted—
🗣️✨ the fuck out.

but y’all made
that
the proof
that i was the danger?

instead of…
✨🤔💭

maybe, (hear me out)
🗣️✨ the dude with…
multi-layered combat trauma💫—
deep-level daddy issues,
high-risk addiction concerns,
who’s stealing large amounts of stimulants✨—
apparently 💫 drinking on the job with a female colleague—
cash advancing money off your credit card—
who’s chronically engaged in infidelity,💫
and has an obvious lack ✨
of any close, long-term
personal camaraderies—

…

🗣️✨fucking hit his wife? 🫢

naaaaaaaaaah.

✨

✶ mini-series: civil conspiracy edition ✨🕵️‍♂️ pt. 1 the parking spot 🗂️🔍

burnbook mini-series ✶ civil conspiracy edition
part 1 ✶ the lil parking spot slip

aka:
connecting the dots
now that i’m not being choked out

✨👐🏻😵✨

—

ok.

baby,
i’m not even swinging yet.
this is just...
remembering shit.
🐌💭

—

it’s early october—

✨🤔💭

(or: literally directly prior—
to the fucking
✨repeated homicide endeavors✨)

—

my soon-to-be fugitive of a husband says:

“[cubicle goblin] got me parking.”💫✨

and like a loving,
deranged,
currently-pregnant wife
funding this man’s fake job
and babe,
i’m 6 months pregnant.
fucking broke.
barfing.
busting my ass
cleaning houses
so this man can pretend
he’s “building a client index.”
and i’m like:

“aw, she helped him get a parking pass.” 🤷‍♀️✨

lol,
nah—
babe.
she was the parking pass.✨
the whole ass carpool.
the whole ass setup.
the decoy so mid—
i never even
saw that shit coming.

lol.

he didn’t just hustle me.
he required
third-party financing 💫
to do it.
in my fucking vehicle.

🔥🗑️

let’s break this the fuck down:

—

🧠 fraudboy had a car.
🚫 he did not have a job.
📍 there was parking at the office.
🫠 there was no income.

but instead of using
literally any of that
like a normal employed human,
this broke bitch
fucking detours?
after a
1 hour and 5 minutes
rush-hour drive
to her apartment?
parked there,
then rode with her 🧌💕
the last
~12 minutes
to the fucking office?

every.
single.
day?

wait,
are we serious?

i hope that’s a joke. 🤞🏻✨

—

so now
we’re here.
and
after reviewing my records 🗂️🔍✨
and now
reading between
the fucking in-office
demonic-goblin-affair lines—
timeline’s look fucking cooked.
let’s run it:

you’re telling me—

✨🤔💭

…every single person
in that office
🤡👉🤡✨
for at least
three full fucking months
saw the same thing:

🚘 him pulling up with her
👯 them frolicking in together
🪑 them sitting next to each other
🍴 them leaving for a bar (aka lunch) together
📉 months in with zero production
🤫 while sanctioning midnight private-apartment “team meetings”
🧾 knowing he’s still on my fucking tab?

and this
motherfucker strolls 🕺✨🧌
…into a training room
with a fucking whole-ass
PowerPoint that said:

“FuckBoi Lowe — Expecting (Jan 30)”

…

👀 ✨🤔💭 (…is bro having a baby…? 🫄✨)

excuse me??????

you were
broadcasting my
fucking c-section
like it was a quarterly goalpost
while this guy was
running a full-on
career-extortion-scam
punching his wife into obedience✨
and rolling up—
with his
weirdly intimate
brand-new female “coworker”? 👋😐💖🧌

…

✨🤔

…

and no one pulled him aside? 👀🫵👋💻

—

yo.
y’all are wild. ✨

you just didn’t give a fuck.

🙂👍✨💼

y’all knew.
PowerPoint dude—
made the slide.
this is the same
fucking used carsalesman
👋😊🔑🚗 ✨ —that gave me
the onboarding pitch
months fucking earlier.
bro, my guy knew
i was about to pop—
working my balls off
cleaning houses
while they all got
catered fucking breakfast.

—

👈🏽✨🤷🏽✨👉🏽

he didn’t give a fuck.

babe—
💀🫵
you are the
original fucking
inducement—
that got me
fully-fucking trapped
in this hellhole
🏝️💀🍹

but nah?
didn’t see shit?

while supervising?

👀🤷🏽🤡

word.

i ain’t buying it.

—

🚨 they all knew i was pregnant.
🚨 they all knew he was broke.
🚨 they had direct fucking knowledge of the misconduct
🚨 they all saw he wasn’t producing—
🤷‍♂️💸🕳️ for my entire fucking pregnancy…and
🚨 they still let me fund the whole fucking thing anyway.

—

so—💥 that’s a fucking trap.

shit.
how the fuck—
was i supposed to
exit that scenario
at my most fucking vulnerable??
😔🫂✨ (pause: gives self an actual hug)

🗣️✨ yo.
you locked me the fuck in
to a deadly exploitation. 🔒😭[🫨]

and look,
one little fact.
one little record—
and the picture
starts to come together
this wasn’t negligence.
this was a group fucking project —
and i was
the only bitch 👉🏻🤰🏼
that was a financial sponsor—
but not invited
to the “awkward”
fucking group chat.

—

🤡 ✨🤝🏻✨

baby—
this wasn’t “morning meetings.”
this was flagrant co-sponsoring.
👀 this wasn’t passive.
shit was tactical.
it was visible,
it was fully fucking formed.
and it had layers of approval.
daily—
then?
strategically
fucking
concealed.

✨🕳️👩‍🦯✨

—

sweetheart, 🕯️
i’m gunna hold your hand—😭💖
they didn’t just ignore signs.
they actively benefited from the fraud.
they watched a pregnant woman
fund a man’s training,
housing,
wardrobe,
and client acquisition
while he was spending every weekday morning✨
in a car with the generation wealth gremlin
who was assigned to her financial profile
and no one made a note?
✨🙈🙉🙊

L
O
fucking✨
L

🤡🔫💥✨terrible fucking criminals.✨

—

in conclusion:

my life?
my pregnancy?
my marriage?
my money?
my FUCKING baby? ✨👶🏼

babe—

an office fucking inside joke.

✨💼🤫🛌✨

🧠 sounds like…actual knowledge.

—

finance & fucking ✨fairy dust✨

what in the—
crackhead cinderella story? 🧚‍♀️✨

welcome to the delusion of
the financial firm fucking fairytale
straight from hell—

get ready to
steady repeat the
inner monologue of—
”the fuck?”
babe,
they market castles.
i got a halfway house with a fraud ring.
shorties brag “flexible, lucrative, compliant.”
i got broke, beaten, fucking lied to, and
evidently
almost murdered 😭🔪✨
in a violent attempt
to conceal an in-office goblin liaison— ✨

…third trimester.✨

🪄

✨
🧚‍♀️✨
🌈🦋🍄✨
🔮✨
✨
✨
✨
🤫✨
📱💔
😈🐍✨
🤥💍🚗✨

…

girl—
💥 shit ain’t a fucking fairy tale.
it was a fucking goddamn hostage situation in subpar work attire.

💥👊✨🤫🚪🚶

—

let’s review the notes—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“first-year earnings
$50k–$100k, denver avg $75k.”

✨poof 🪄🎩✨🐇 💥 reality =

🤥🐍 hubby (while i was pregnant):
under $2,000 in 7 months.
≈2% of their own advertised range.
i was in that office.
i brought my mom.
i met the reps at parties.
not one of them said, “he’s failing.”

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“flexible schedule, be your own boss, work-life balance.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
60 hours a week chained to their office.
home 7–8pm, sometimes midnight.
texts about “group work” and “strategy sessions.”
he’s parking 15 minutes away,
feeding me bar-lunch / night excuses.
that is not “flexible.” appears to be cover.

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“mentorship, licensing support, path to success.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
i liquidated $8k tuition refund.
+ $10k in savings—
borrowed $5k from my grandma—
i covered $15k+ in licensing, travel, expenses.
i took on a $40k car loan. ($5k down)
he totals my paid off car within 3 months.
(via late night errand to nowhere)
all in…7 fucking months.
for him to produce nothing.
his “mentorship” = being told by a senior advisor
he had to be in the office every day, all week,
while i was in my third trimester.
he quit soon after. (out of fucking nowhere)

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“compliance protects the client, conflicts disclosed.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby & financial rep. actually did:
january 12, 2024: she’s assigned as my consultant.
already inappropriate with him? in retrospect? seems so.
january 16: i’m in the ER, victim of DV.
january 17: she venmos him $100. why? i have no fucking idea.
weeks later, she’s in my house, holding my newborn.
no disclosure. no reassignment.
compliance muted.

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“reps start with warm contacts, convert friends & family.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
he ripped 300 names from my phone.
converted zero.
0/300.
he kept telling me “he was about to close”
do the math: even cold calls close at 2–5%.
warm market should have landed something.
the only explanation: he wasn’t actually working.
you would think the office that induced me while
pregnant to fund him…would…notice?

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“networking events are occasional, optional.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby actually did:
constant late nights, bars, “off-site meetings.”
near-midnight + never home; every week.
no revenue, no record, no disclosure.

—

🧚‍♀️✨ what nm claims:
“policy servicing is transparent, owners notified.”

🪄✨💥

🤥🐍 what hubby & nm actually did:
policies tied to my bank account
were lapsed, changed, voided and
reassigned behind my back.
no notice. no consent.
i only learned in 2025 when my
new advisor admitted—
my original rep? girl was removed for an
“awkward relationship” with my fucking husband.

—

💥 🫨

wtf just happened here?

✨🤥✨🚗💥👊✨
they market flexibility,
income, and compliance.
what i lived was
forced office hours, zero pay,
300 stolen contacts,
being beaten into submission—
when i question
an emotionally/financially invested
female “team-member”
who is openly fucking encouraged—
who straight cut out the legal wife,
to get to the client’s husband—
he punched me in the fucking head.✨💥

we got—
policy tampering,
silence
and overt concealment
from every single one of them—
who shook my hand
while i was carrying his child.

—

🪄✨💥

what’s that
look like to y’all?

my husband
💥 earning
$1.10 an hour—
my entire fucking pregnancy.

✨🌈🦋

🧚‍♀️✨ finra

i feel like…you picked the wrong bitch? ✨🙂✨ …💀🪦

see
you were out here
looking for prey.
something soft.
something you could hide
your lil fucking
murder adjacent +
securities fraud in—
like a postnatal checkup.
something that you
fucked with quietly,
something that begged.

—

but you found
a glitch in the fucking matrix.
a baby mama
with fucking fangs.
an ivy league dropout
of the goddamn trauma olympics
with a dissociative disorder
and access to westlaw. ✨

—

baby
i was born into war.
i had anxiety attacks
before i had a period.
i learned to read
watching shit
shattered next to me.
i learned my times tables—
nah,
i blacked out third grade
fucking entirely.
you wanna talk
stress response?
bro my baseline cortisol
could melt steel fucking beams.

—

you thought
i was gonna what?
cry?
move on?
get a therapist
and a fucking hobby?
nah,
i got hyperfixation
and a fucking felony binder.

—

you left me
with a toddler
a pile of court documents
unpaid bills—
and 24 months
of cell data history,
and somehow thought
i’d just go down quietly?

babe
my nervous system
was fucking formed
in absolute chaos.
as long as
no one’s actively
beating the shit out of me
i’m at peak clarity.

you should be scared.
you targeted
this bitch.

—

you paired
a government-trained assassin—
with a generational trust fund goblin,
and aimed them
at a postpartum,
financially obliterated,
law student
with a trauma
fixation
for civil procedure.

and you thought you were gonna win?

—

lol
i don't need to out-earn you.
i don't need to out-rank you.
i just need to
out-last
every fucking lie
you told in a text
you thought i’d never see.

—

and sweetie?
i was taking notes.
not because i knew
what was happening
but because
that’s what neurodivergent bitches do.✨
we log everything.
we remember patterns.
we store screenshots
like fucking catholic guilt.

—

you gave me
no money
no friends
no car
a baby
a deadline
and a web of fucking lies.

and still—
you’re the ones
being sued
into the goddamn void.

—

✨and that’s what happens
when you mistake
a trauma-coded bitch
for easy prey.✨

legal gaslighting; the audacity of weaponizing trauma in 2025

✦

so let me get this straight.
y’all who got
access to case law,
endless legal resources,
ethics training,
mad fucking dough,
and (presumably) fucking google…
decided that the move—
the strategy,
the fucking flex—
the goddamn million billable hours—
was to comb through
my fucking
domestic violence
trauma blog.
150+ pages.
of raw disclosures.
of dissociation.
of survival.
of fucking healing work.
on the reg.
on repeat—
for fucking months.

processing that—
wasn’t even about y’all
(half of which predates your involvement)
and then???
twist it into some psych eval
fucking cosplay
to try to distract from
the actual goddamn issue:
you’re defending a fraud case.
and a negligence case.
and a misconduct case.
against a pro se,
abuse surviving,
single mother.
who literally
told you in real-time
that she was in danger.

—

so here’s what we’re not gonna do:
pretend this is normal.
pretend it’s ethical.
pretend it isn’t
fully fucking documented
that for months,
y’all have been actively surveilling
a domestic violence victim’s trauma blog
during an open legal matter—
involving dv,
fraud,
and fiduciary misconduct.
and then using that access
to build a credibility smear campaign,
instead of turning over
a single goddamn material document
that was due to me
the second i asked for it—
while i was
actively in fucking crisis.

no.
not just no—
absolutely fucking not.

—

listen.
you’re not reviewing evidence.
let’s be fucking real—
you’re not reading
for material fact.
you’re reading for fucking tone.
you’re reading to see
if i sound “too angry,”
“too messy,”
“too emotional”
aka—too much like a real fucking victim.

nah.
weak ass shit.
you’re dissecting a fucking lifeline.
a digital fucking cathedral—
for a domestic violence victim
mid-fucking-collapse.
pathetic.
legally dogshit.

—

and here’s
what’s not just gross,
but objectively negligent:

🔹 trauma narratives aren’t chronological.
you are literally misreading
the neurobiology of trauma.
memory does not unfold like a screenplay.
it fragments.
loops.
resurfaces.
that’s not “inconsistency.”
that’s classic trauma processing.

🔹 survivor disclosures are not admissions.
they’re coping mechanisms.
that blog? it’s not a deposition.
it’s the only place i had to metabolize
what was happening when
i was isolated,
under threat,
and actively being financially
and physically destabilized.
and let’s not forget, all while being—
actively fucking ignored by every single one of you,
via private communications.
so yo,
i wasn’t testifying.
i was bleeding into a fucking keyboard.

🔹 complex trauma ≠ unreliable narrator.
but you’re hoping it plays that way, huh?
you’re banking on the fact that
i cried, screamed, got disoriented, looped back,
forgot a date, had an emotional whiplash at 3am—
and you’re gonna use that to try and impeach my credibility.
that’s not just dirty.
it’s fucking incompetent.

🔹 you’re retraumatizing a known victim
in violation of nearly every clinical best practice,
domestic violence advocacy protocol, and ethical boundary
in modern legal fucking defense.

—

and no—
you don’t get to say it was “research”
when what you were
researching was my fucking pain
in lieu of providing one of the material facts
i was repeatedly begging for
when i was postpartum,
in active danger,
reporting ongoing surveillance,
and trying to ensure my child’s safety.

—

and to be precise—
i wasn’t just
writing about you.
i was writing through a lifetime of shit
that predates this entire fucking case.
what you’re doing is called
cross-contamination of trauma timelines.
and it’s not just unfair—
it’s psychologically harmful.

—

you're weaponizing unprocessed pain.
you're treating my attempts
to survive abuse
as litigation vulnerabilities.
you're reducing
a healing record
into a fucking gotcha game.
and that’s—
extremely fucked up.

—

and let me ask you—
would you do this to a man?
to a combat vet?
to a priest?
to a child abuse survivor
who coded their story
through fucking poetry?

or do
you just do it to
women like me—
women who got loud?
who named fucking names?
who told the fucking truth?

—

so here’s
the legal hot take
you didn’t ask for
but desperately fucking need:

in 2025,
if your defense strategy is
“make her trauma look crazy,”
lol,
you’re not clever.
you’re not strategic.
you’re—
maliciously out-fucking-dated.

the public
knows better now.
the courts are
catching the fuck up.
and real ethical attorneys
would be advising you to stop.

but by all means,
keep reading.
just know—
every click you make
is another record for
retaliatory pattern,
ethical misconduct,
and survivor intimidation.

and i’m documenting every.
single.
one.

🖤

✦ clinical trauma-informed roast,
brought to you by:
a victim who lived to tell the story—
and sued the fuck back.

concealment is over. 💫 chain of custody is live. ✨📢

✶ public notice
(since you play semantics in private):
you made it crystal
that in private you dodge,
delay,
and try intimidation.
cool.
i’m putting this in public,
where you can’t pretend
you didn’t see it.

🥀

this is a litigation hold,
not vibes.

—

why do y’all act
like this is
legal quantum fucking physics✨—
frantically
fucking ducking
basic material facts
like,
if you evade hard enough,
play some
elite level 💫✨
semantics gymnastics—
i won’t notice you’re
concealing criminally relevant shit.
dope.

😶‍🌫📄🔥✨

babe,
let’s just
pin it,
and
cut the shit—

📌 ✨
the cover-up
is the evidence.
and you’re logged
in the fucking chain of custody.

📌✨
that wasn’t discretion.
it was concealment. 💫✨

—

no names.
no games.
stop being fucking vague about—

✨💥 material facts💥✨

—

🗣️✨
i want to be really
fucking clear:

—

if evidence confirms
that a financial services rep 💫
at my husband’s office:

✨🤫📄🔥

1. initiated and maintained
an undisclosed personal relationship
with him during his employment (july 2023–jan 2024) —
while he was married,
financially dependent on me,
and a known combat veteran
with ptsd and addiction history—

🔥

2. kept private, off-channel communications
active for years, including during our marriage,
my pregnancy, and our separation —
while actively blocking all contact with me,
despite holding professional responsibilities
over accounts tied to me and my child—

🔥

3. engaged me as a client in name only—
then kept me off-channel, blocked or delayed
my transfers / rollover of securities,
and refused to service my requests, while
servicing only my husband via private comms
despite no legitimate revenue or business from him;

🔥

4. enabled or facilitated off-book financial transfers
(including venmos), allowing him to conceal income
and keep stalling with “money’s coming,”
while i was defrauded into funding tens of thousands—
his licensing, his car, our bills, his entire life—
under coercion and escalating violence—

🔥

5. had full knowledge — or legal duty to know—
that this was a textbook DV and financial abuse scenario,
based on her own securities & insurance training,
and still chose to continue—
while i was visibly pregnant and being
manually strangled and punched in the head—

🔥

6. may have actively participated in credit card fraud against me,
including in november 2023, when my husband used my
credit and debit cards to extract hundreds of dollars
via cash advances— ✨🫂
during seemingly peak affair activity—
and if even one dollar of that spending benefited her,
knowing i was funding his entire career,
she didn’t just enable fraud—
she joined the fucking conspiracy.

🔥

7. maintained private contact post-separation,
after protective orders were in place, and
while my husband was out on felony bond for domestic violence—
no disclosures, no audit trail, no accountability—

🔥

8. and ultimately exited her role and/or their relationship
with no explanation, despite a direct conflict of interest,
access to my financial records, and clear exposure to misconduct—

🔥

9. and kept the stalking/surveillance going
right into this month (september 2025) —
documented and preserved;
with her whole legal face and fucking name.
🔥

10. and crucially—
this shit has been ongoing since october 2024,
despite multiple fucking restraining orders in place.
with no conflict disclosure.
no notice of departure from my account.
no justification for silent surveillance
while maintaining zero professional contact.
while she deleted socials that i was actively attempting to
contact her on via my only open channel—
(pre filing)
that she blatantly ignored. and then destroyed.
and yet — she continues watching on alternate platforms
my personal social media—
bro.
what kind of sick power play is that?
baby, that is threatening as fuck.

🔥

11. at this point, it’s potentially
co-fucking-synchronized stalking
from seemingly both my husband and her,
at the exact same time —
her with her whole-ass name and face,
and him on a alternating burner account,
not denying an affair —
nah.
harassing me.

🔥

if that shit is factual?
and y’all know it?

then she was not just reckless.

🗣️✨
she was the
fucking central catalyst and co-architect
of both a financial fraud✨ and
a lethal domestic violence escalation💫—

a pattern that
nearly got me
fucking killed while pregnant
and financially fucked me
for the foreseeable fucking future.

…and if discovery confirms
it was also
a sexual relationship—
layered into that misconduct?

bro.
nah.
don’t gaslight this.
she wasn’t just ignoring the fucking risk—
she fucking manufactured it.

🗣️✨ and you all fucking know it.

🗣️✨ so again.
stop the fucking games.

if you already know—
or you refuse to ask directly?
refuse to investigate?
refuse to confirm?
…yo. 🚨

so,
like i was saying—

✨💔 this timeline supports the elements of:

✶ aiding & abetting domestic violence
✶ fraudulent inducement
✶ credit card fraud
✶ civil conspiracy
✶ insurance & wire fraud
✶ theft by deception
✶ unjust enrichment
✶ fiduciary breach / professional misconduct
✶ witness intimidation
✶ stalking & protective-order violations

✨

the financial timeline,
the physical violence,
the concealment,
and the communications
now form a single,
prosecutable pattern.

👮🏻‍♂️👮🏽😢💀✨

so listen,
acting like—
this is fucking
chill???

nah.
it’s not.

it’s potentially ✍🏼✨
an actual fucking crime. 💫

🗣️✨ all esi is preserved.

for the second time
since notice of imminent litigation;
this is a formal litigation hold:

i’ve documented the
ongoing surveillance💫—
for months,
with zero fucking clarity.

✨🫵😶‍🌫🔒

do not delete,
alter, 💫
or destroy: ✨
✦ texts,
✦ imessages,
✦ emails,
✦ dms,
✦ venmo/zelle/cashapp records,
✦ crm logs,
✦ call/FaceTime histories,
✦ slack/teams chats,
✦ cloud backups,
✦ calendar invites,
✦ location data,
✦ bank/brokerage records,
✦ document versions,
✦ metadata, or
✦ device auth logs.

spoliation = adverse inference + sanctions 💫✨
✨ subpoenas are coming.

clarification
for the confused:

🗣️✨

if any of these
relevant facts
are confirmed?
i will absolutely
refer
the full record ✨
to prosecutors
and every DA
in the fucking jurisdiction.

✨🤝🏻✨

that is a promise. 😀✨

so please,
respectfully—
stop fucking with me. ✨

ﾒ૦ﾒ૦💋

sam lowe

🥀✨

(✨opinion based on preserved evidence in active litigation. names intentionally omitted. ✨all rights reserved.)

✨🫵😶‍🌫✨

finra👻✨

🏰🧚‍♀️✨ can you fucking imagine? 🤰🥊💥💰✨

aka:
a cheater
and a beater

the full fucking package.

✨👹🔥✨🤰🥊💥💰✨

—

bro,
it’s a fucking
fairy tale.

🏰🧚‍♀️✨

nah,
really
picture this shit—

you date some clown.
he immediately
starts couch-surfing
at your place,
bro instantly
lies,
steals pills,
starts drinking to full blackout—
definitely text cheats,
plays broke-boy fucking olympics.
you block him.
case fucking closed.

✨💋

except nah.
combat vet.
ptsd.
full-fucking blown
individual misusing
substances. (plural)
but the war, babe.
aka the
“he’s been through shit”
excuse starter pack.
so
babe,
you try grace.
you bring him home
for christmas,
stays a month—
knows the whole fam,
falls back into habits.
burns that shit.
you
block his ass,
again.

—

fast forward—
this dickhead crawls
back out of
the depths of hell
via email,
baby—
“i need your help.”
and
because
you’re fucking
soft-hearted,
you answer.

🪦✨

context:
you
miscarried last year.
you’re still
fucked up
from it.
the dude you really
wanted to be daddy?
babe,
he already
knocked up
another chick
and is playing
house or whatever—
over fucking there.

—

so armed
with that fucking
knowledge
of that bottomless-ass pain—
this motherfucker
slides in with,

🏰🧚‍♀️✨ ”sam, let me be your baby daddy.”

obviously
weaponizing
your suffering
like a fucking
get out of jail free card.

✨🗑️✨

—

babe.

boom,
pregnant instantly. 💫
you text him the stick pic.
straight ghosts for 24 hours.
translation: had to run
and cry to the ex.
(sadly been there)
but then
shit, ✨🔪
he reappears,
lovebombing
the fucking shit
out of you
into
🏰💭🦄✨🧚‍♀️
legal fucking marriage.
so
june 2023,
one month pregnant,
and he swears
it’s forever,
babe
he’s
“locked the fuck in.”

🪄✨🫂💥

—

weeks later,
linkedin recruiter
sends him a lil
“come work for us ;)”
✨🐷🏛️💰🤝🏻✨
fuck—
you’re like
babe,
kinda seems like
a fucking pyramid scheme—
but suddenly?
he’s at a financial firm. 🐷🤝🏻✨
and babe,
after his interview?
they request specifically
that you, his wifey
come in fucking office—
to the glass building
with their name
plastered on the fucking side.
girlie,
they sit you down,
now 8 weeks pregnant—
pitch you ✨🤡
fucking fairy tales
about ✍🏼✨🐷🤝🏻✨
“sky’s the limit” money,
as long as you
bankroll him through licensing.
and you’re thinking,
“ok maybe stability.”

✨👹⚔️👿✨

—

fucking plot twist:
congratulations babe!
you just signed up
for hell
and a wasteland
of fucking demons
and financial devastation.

✨🤝🏻💰👹🔪💔✨

here we fucking go.
he’s paired
with a genetically tragic
female coworker,
whole office
treating it
like a high school rerun—
💰😈🪓
yo.
now he disappears.
you’re pregnant,
hustling multiple jobs,
cleaning houses,
paying bills,
giving him your paid-off car,
draining
fucking thousands
in savings.
maxing out credit cards,
he’s just,
always gone.

🐍✨

angel—
his excuse:

“i’m at the office.” 🙏🏼✨🤷🏼‍♂️

his location:

“is that a random condo in denver?”
”a fucking brewery?”
”turned the fuck off”

✨🤘🏼🤷🏼‍♂️✨

lmfao
yo—
do the math.

💔👻✨

you confront him?
start trying
to leave him?
lol.
yo, record shows,
everytime
you got loud
about his fuckery—
asked if he was cheating,
or flat out
asked for a fucking divorce?
babe—
he beats
the fucking
shit out of you.
🤰🥊💥💰✨
bro,
it was so bad,
i seriously blocked
this shit out.
the main records?
hospital.
court.
photos.
the fucking texts.

✨💔🐍

yo.
picture it.
second trimester.
third trimester.
pregnant belly,
bruises on my skull.
you’re literally
growing life
while he’s trying
to knock it fucking
out of you.

and still—
yo,
you’re begging him
to leave your house,
and he fucking won’t.
gaslighting like
it’s an
actual career path.

✨👨🏼👹🔥✨🤷🏼‍♂️

“baby it’s trish making me stay late.” 🙏🏼✨🤷🏼‍♂️

oh right.
trish.
definitely trish.

and when you’re
8 months pregnant?
husband has made
zero income ✨
your entire
fucking pregnancy?
and you’re wondering
why he’s at the office ✨
from dawn
until fucking…
whenever.

✨👤 🤷🏼‍♂️✨

babe,
can you work from home?

🤫❤️📱

“nah babe,
i know
you’re full term—
and i made
absolutely
no fucking money
in almost six months,
and your bank account
is now
in the negative,
but

trish is insisting
i’m physically in-office
all week…

✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

lol
while
you manage
the dogs
by yourself
:(
—but it’s for the fam”

✨🫂🤷‍♀️

(meanwhile,
other coworkers
aren’t coming in at all,
fucking straight
zooming in
with their cameras off
lmfao cool.)

✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

—

the fuck? 😀✨

by delivery time?
your bank account:
fucking cratered.
😀✨
your car: babe,
he totaled that shit,
in 3 months.
😀✨
your savings: zero.
😀✨
his income: zero.
😀✨
the office goblin?
still creeping,
“just a work friend”
funneling fucking perks.
you’re paying for
their affair
with fucking overdraft fees.

✨🤰💥🥊✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

and by
cleaning houses,
9 months pregnant, 👏🏻✨
so they can grab
a lunchbreak beer.

✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

and extort
almost a grand,
off your credit card,
in a month—
at peak liaison
date ranges 💫

✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

straight up—
evidently,
paying 👏🏻✨
for meals / hotels,
for my husband
and his coworker, 👏🏻✨
while pregnant.

👏🏻🤰✨

yup.

😘💳✨🫥

—

and cherry on fucking top?
babe,
she’s magically
“assigned”
to manage your money,
aka, the whole fucking reason,
you agreed to this shit
in the first place.
for fucking finances.
you try to move
your accounts,
rollover fucking assets,
finally.
actually handle
the adult shit.
you know,
shit you
talked about
in those
”financial meetings”
that induced you
into the fucking firm,
from the fucking jump.

✨🤡✨🤷🏼‍♂️✨

but when you ask?
yo.
this bitch ghosts.
leaves you in the insta dm’s,
with no other channel
✨🤡 for direct contact.
doesn’t give her number.
effectively blocks you
the fuck out.
her first outreach?
an auto email
✨🤡
asking for
your medical records.
like,
what?
hi.
like imagine— ✨🤡
you’re abused,
broke,
pregnant,
fucking dying—
and the “professional”
✨🤡🪓
handling
your money
only pops up like,

🗣️
“hey babe,
forward me
your complete,
private fucking
health history.”

✨🐊✨

—

yup.

that’s the picture.
no fiduciary talk.
no legal geometry.
just:
✨🤡🪓
he cheats.
he beats.
he steals.
and the firm?
hands the side chick
”in training”
with zero
fucking supervision—
your life
in a fucking manila folder.

—

🤰🥊💥💀💰✨

and then
the encore.

after all that—
the cheating,
the bruises,
the manual fucking strangulation,
the broke-ass lies,
the overdrafts,
the totaled car,
the goblin-turned-advisor?

this original fucking company ✨💀🪓🙂

the same one
that lured him in
on fucking linkedin
when you were
newly married ✨
and barely pregnant, ✨
comes for you.
after lapsing all
three fucking policies—

like,

👈✨👉

✨ “nah—girlie?
what if you’re the fucking problem.” ✨

🕊️

🕊️

🕊️

🕊️

ok. ✨💩✨

ma’am.
i’m on fucking welfare.
your poster boy
✨🤥💍🤫❤️‍🔥✨
stole my fucking
entire tuition refund.
swore his GI Bill was mine—
then snatched that shit
for himself.
straight up
abandoned his daughter.
🏃💨
no visits.
no calls.
no child support.
(it’s $87 and court mandated)
hasn’t seen her face,
in almost a full fucking year.
fucked my savings,
stole $3k tax refund,
because
he apparently
hadn’t paid
since like
fucking 2022 🦈💥
left me drowning
with all the fucking debt,
for cars to get to an office,
where he could—
fuck with an office goblin
while robbing me fucking blind,
babe,
straight
chokes me out
when i caught the fuck on.

✨🤰💰🔫✨

shit is a fucking nightmare.
left me with the baby,
and all the fucking bills.

and then
this absolutely demonic
financial instituition,
you—
👹✨💸
the company that
lit the fucking match—
are forcing me
to drag their ass
into court.

🤡✨

—

front page shit:

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
financial firm
recruits violent
broke vet,
conceals ongoing
office affair,
lets him
fucking demolish
pregnant wife’s life,
beat her into compliance—
then makes her
sue for material facts,
while mistress stalks—

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

…
and husband
is out on a dv bond
for strangling her
while contracted
to their fucking firm.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

shit—
that was long.

tragic?
nah.
i’m from jersey.
seen worse,
shit’s not tragedy,
it’s a fucking mugshot.

👋😊🖕🏻✨

why i’m coming for the entire fucking trust fund ✨🏛️💰📜

disclaimer: 💀💀💀

before anyone wants to play
fucking devil’s advocate:
✦ yes, my husband
beat the shit out of me
while i was pregnant.
✦ yes, he’s the one who did that.
✦ yes, he’s responsible.
and he will die with that
fucking stain on his
goddamn name—fucking forever.

✨🙂👍✨

✶

but let’s also be
crystal fucking clear—
you were the goddamn gas pedal.
you were the match.
you were the ugly little smirk
behind the curtain
pulling every fucking string
like the
coked-out extortionist
of my fucking death spiral.

✨🤜🏼🤛🏼✨

lfg.

—

✨babe—

💔💍
you
explicitly
knew
fucking
everything.
absolutely everything.
all of it.
you weren’t some random-ass
girl he met at a bar.
girlie—
you met me. 💀
you looked me in the fucking eye.
knew every fucking
high risk factor. ✨💋
hey slut—
you added me on
fucking instagram ✨👀🔪
like a stalker fan,
day fucking one of the job.
you watched me—
fucking daily,
✨👀
pregnant,
vomiting,
broke,
exhausted,
fucking abandoned—
and said,
omg, 🤮✨
i want what she has.

you fucking loser.

✨🗑️✨

you didn’t seduce
my husband.
you fucking weaponized him.
you picked god’s weakest,
dumbest fucking soldier—
in the goddamn room,
and strung him up with
daddy-money and fucking attention,
and started
whispering
sweet fucking nothings
through compliance-approved
fucking loopholes.

✍🏻️✨💋🔪

like oh my god!!!
look at me!!!!
i’m finally important!!!!!
i get to play savior
to the broke vet
with a wife
and a baby on the way!!!!!
i get to be relevant!!!!!

lmfao.

✨🗑️🔥✨

nah bitch.
you got to be a
homewrecking,
trauma-creating,
policy-defrauding
fucking gremlin
who couldn’t land her own man
so she tried
to hijack someone else’s
entire fucking family.

that is some psychotic level shit. 🔥🤯😵‍💫✨

yo.
you met me. 🤡
you knew.
you fucking knew.
you saw ✨👀
what kind of pain
we were already in.
you saw the fucked up car.
you saw him ✨👀
switch to driving
my fucking subaru.
you saw ✨👀🔪
the baby registry
under my fucking name.
you saw
every
🚩
red
🚩
fucking
🚩🚩🚩
flag
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
waving like a damn car dealership
grand fucking opening.
and you walked the fuck in
nah,
actually,
you exploited that shit ✨
you beat down
the fucking door, ⚠️✨
zero embarrassment—🔥🔥🔥
ivy league fucking educated, 🤡✨
with a terrible little wardrobe,
and fucking
generational wealth
substituting
brain chemistry,
your forgettable-ass face
and your mediocre fucking
linkedin hustle —
”domestic violence ally”?
fucking hilarious.
nah—
more like,
✨🏆✨
“i destroy
vulnerable families
& pregnant women
because—
i’m hella insecure.”

✨🥺🔥👀🔪

lol.

babe,
be for real,
you just wanted me gone.✨
you wanted the power trip.
you wanted the
sick fucking high of believing
you were better 💋
(for fucking once ✨😔)
than the woman
holding his fucking baby
and paying his bills✨
with his goddamn last name—
surviving the nightmare
you fully fucking helped orchestrate.

✨💰👰🏻‍♀️💰🤞🏻💸🥺💰💍💰✨

and the part
that’s really fucked?
he got better 💕
when you were gone.
he started trying. ✨
he tried to be a fucking dad.
he looked me in the eye.

until
your
fucking
name
popped the fuck back up. ✨
again. 💸
and again. 💸💸
and again. 💸💸💸

🐍✨

sweetie,
you are fucking obsessed✨—
and you kept
reaching the fuck out.
you kept
dangling fake job offers.
kept
dropping
little strings of control ✨
like you needed
to remind him
he belonged to you now.
because what?
you bought him a sandwich once?
you let him cry in your car? 🤮✨
you venmo’ed him
extra cash,
on the side—
cut out his preggo wifey✨
like a fucking
delusional
sugar momma
sidekick?
👹✨💸
bitch, please.

you didn’t do him a favor.
you weaponized
the only leverage you could get:
(from across the fucking country)
his shame. 🤫✨
his weakness. 🤫✨
our whole-ass life.
you kept
private lines
open like a goddamn chokehold.

🐍🏛️✨💸

do you know
what that looks like
from the other side?
it looks like a
slow,
methodical dismantling. 😏✨
it looks like
calculated manipulation—
of a vulnerable fucking family,
late nights, 🔥
missing pills, 🔥
zero location,
evidently—
fucking drinking 🚩
together 🥂💋✨
on the fucking job 🚩🚩🥃🐍✨
charged to my fucking debit card— 🤡✨
with a fucking sober, married combat vet (!!!)
🤡🥃 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩✨
and every
fucking
quiet theft of my fucking dignity.
it looks like—
me trying to
fucking
breathe
while my marriage
is turned into
your pathetic-ass project.
it looks like
my baby’s safety,
and your goddamn secrets—
becoming your
fucking bargaining chip.

✨👩🏼💰🔫✨

🚨 wild fucking behavior. 🚩✨

so—
maybe they never fucked.
maybe they did. 🤫💫
maybe it doesn’t fucking matter.
because
the harm 🔥✨
you caused
isn’t measured
in conceivable fucking
blowjobs in your apartment—
on work hours ✨
it’s measured
in fucking leverage.
you created
a permanent threat. ✨
a thing
you could always hold over him.
a thing
that kept you relevant 🥺🚗✨
and him unanchored.

fucking pathetic. 🤮✨

yo.
you did
all this shit—
through the camouflage,
of being
a financial fucking professional.
🥴🥃🐍✨🍾

babe—
that’s not love.
that’s possession.
that’s grooming.
that’s control. ✨
that’s fucking disturbing.
and that’s on fucking record.

🔥

you didn’t just
enable his spiral.
you made sure
i was cut the fuck out
of every solution.
no updates.
no callbacks. ⚡💋
no fucking transparency.
you assigned yourself
to my fucking accounts.
to my baby’s policy. ✨
and then fucking vanished
like a coward
while you fucked with my life
from the shadows
of your denver fucking cubicle.

—completely un-fucking-supervised.

✨🐍📄💥✨

so
let me say it
loud for the—
fucking future deposition:

you’re not a victim.
you’re not in love.
you’re not confused.
you’re not young.
you’re not innocent.
you’re not misunderstood.
you’re a ⚡ snake
with a daddy complex
and a linkedin profile
that reads like
a sociopathy résumé,
with a terrible bio pic.

(nah seriously, update that shit)

✨🫵😈✨”🧟‍♀️🤡👹”✨

and
i hope
every single
motherfucking time
you get a
“update on the lawsuit” email,
you remember 🤡✨
it was bought
with bruises
on my pregnant body
and a thousand nights
of silence
you aided in constructing.

✨🤝🏻👑🤫💵

and if
there’s any god,
or any fucking justice
in the state of colorado✨
you will never
be able to hear my name
without choking
on the guilt
you were too cowardly
to fucking claim.

🤮🪞✨

and she did it for what?
✨ attention
✨ control
✨ a seat at my table?

lmfao.

no settlement ✨
bitch.
i’m the one
who lived that shit.
you know,
my actual life
and fucking family.
and bitch?
i’m the one
who’s gunna be—
still fucking standing
when the dust settles.

✨💋🔫🖤

✶

fuck around.
find out. ✨

hope this was your goddamn dream, bitch.

✨🫵😈✨

.

.

.

.

ﾒ૦ﾒ૦💋

☢️💥💣🍄 brace for nuclear fucking compliance disaster (🚨 WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP)

🚨 aka:
she didn’t just fuck corp—
she lit their compliance manual on fire
and then pissed on the fucking ashes.

—

this is giving:

☆ not a criminal mastermind
☆ not a malicious compliance expert
☆ not even a mildly strategic paralegal-intern level brain

it’s giving:

✨“it’s just instagram, who cares?”✨
✨“she won’t actually sue.”✨
✨“there are no consequences to my actions.”✨
✨“lol oops i deleted it, whatever.”✨

—

✨🚨 let’s fucking go:

💥 1. she accepted a securities-triggering request (IRA rollover)…

…and did it off-channel

then:

💥 2. she definitely never escalated it, seemingly—never disclosed it, never fucking logged it.

which means:

☆ no record retention.
☆ no internal compliance alert.
☆ no handoff to a registered advisor.
☆ no FINRA-mandated documentation

*of customer communications under
Reg BI, Rule 3110, SEC 17a-4, Colorado DOI regs.

—

honey—
💣☢️💥🍄 (fucking nuclear)
that’s already a compliance fucking disaster.

but she wasn’t done.

💥 3. she deleted the account after a litigation hold.

baby.
that’s seemingly fucking spoliation.
that’s: 💣☢️💥🍄

☆ willful destruction of business records
☆ after written notice of litigation
☆ on a platform she used to conduct business for the firm.

🤯✨

that’s fucking nuclear-grade liability.

💥 4. she blocked the actual client (me) from executing business…

…while continuing to speak only to my husband—

who:
☆ wasn’t the payor,
☆ had no money,
☆ wasn’t fucking requesting anything,
☆ and was the active fucking conflict. 💥

🤯✨

💥 5. and the best part? bitch…she never told anyone.

babe,
and now?

💥 💥 💥 💥 💣🤯✨
they’ve already filed:
“no fucking securities”
under oath.

that’s why
they freaked
the fuck out.
that’s why 🤯✨
they’re gonna
burn shit down
in discovery.
because shit,
this bitch
didn’t just
make a mistake —
she knowingly
obstructed
firm business,
concealed it,
and fucking deleted it.
💣☢️💥🍄

baby—
that’s not oops.
that’s a
regulatory homicide.

🤯✨

💣

.

.

.

.

💥finra💥

*compliance violations per minute: off the chart.
policies lapsed. records deleted. husband-only service.
ask FINRA if she’s available for questioning. ☢️💣🍄

“no securities”🥀 aka 👻 finra (boo)

transcript of voice memo (january 12, 2024):

😔🎻

“i also have
a traditional ira
with [redacted],
um, and i was wondering..”

😔🎻
😔🎻
😔🎻

“i’ll ask [redacted] about the roll-over.”

—

🎶😭💔🎻🎶
🎶😭💔🎻🎶
🎶😭💔🎻🎶

[deletes entire 💥
account / communications 💥💥
after notice of imminent litigation] 💥💥💥

🎶🎻😭😭💔🎻🎻🎶

“—for
financial professionals
and firms
regulated by FINRA,
using platforms
like instagram for business
is considered
’off-channel’ communication
if it is not
approved,
supervised,
and archived by the firm.”

💥🔥🎶🎻😭😭💔🎻🎻🎶🔥💥
💥🔥🎶🎻😭😭💔🎻🎻🎶🔥💥
💥🔥🎶🎻😭😭💔🎻🎻🎶🔥💥

consequences
of non-compliance 💥

FINRA and the SEC
have imposed
substantial penalties
on firms
for failures
related to off-channel
and social media communications,
including multi-million-dollar fines.

recent enforcement actions
have focused on issues like: 

failing to supervise
and archive
communications
made by employees
and external influencers.

🥀💥

17a-4(b) every member, broker or dealer subject to § 240.17a-3 must preserve for a period of not less than three years, the first two years in an easily accessible place:

17a-4(b)(4) originals of all communications received and copies of all communications sent (and any approvals thereof) by the member, broker or dealer (including inter-office memoranda and communications) relating to its business as such, including all communications which are subject to rules of a self-regulatory organization of which the member, broker or dealer is a member regarding communications with the public. as used in this paragraph (b)(4), the term communications includes sales scripts and recordings of telephone calls required to be maintained pursuant to section 15f(g)(1) of the act (15 u.s.c. 78o-10(g)(1)).

—

sweet,
so where’s the💫—
✨3110 review ✨
+ ✨17a-4 archive✨?

.

.

or—
i was the only one with assets, accounts, and premiums to bring to NM — and instead of properly onboarding me, or opening up any line of communication, my assigned rep had me trying to transfer assests via social accounts, ghosted me on my only available form of contact (aka: ig dm’s🤡) —then directed all communication exclusively through my broke, financially disinterested husband—for the entirity of our marriage—while completely obstructing me from doing any business with the firm i was the one paying.

💥🤡🤡🤡🤡💥 (fade in—circus music)

lmfao.

.

.

.

boo.

💥👻

i fuck with this chaotic micro-twin 👶🏼💥🔥—hard.

🕯️✨

how the fuck
do you love a child

that looks
fucking exactly
like the man
who tried to kill you?

no seriously.
riddle me fucking that.

because
this little face?
this little
chaotic,
genius,
mischievous,
breathtaking
little fucking tornado?
is an exact fucking replica
of the man who gaslit me,
defrauded me,
and then literally
spat in my fucking face.

and somehow—
i still wake up
every single day
and
love the shit out of her.

and yeah—
people are complicated.
i’m not gonna
sit here
and lie
like he was
always a monster.
he wasn’t.

there were moments—
tiny little
flickers of honesty,
and fucking vulnerability—
that hit
just right when
he wasn’t
lying,
cheating,
manipulating,
stealing my fucking money,
or choking me the fuck out.

sometimes he was fun.
sometimes he was smart.
sometimes he made
my heart
fucking hopeful
in ways
i fucking hate to admit now.

🍼✨🤰🌈👶🏼✨👨‍🍼

—

and guess what?
she got
all of those parts.

🕯️✨

babe—
i ✨prayed to fucking god✨
for this family.
i fucking begged—
the goddamn universe 🙏
cried my fucking eyes out—
and if this—
this is what i get?

hear me,
i’ll fucking take it.
a million times over
with this crazy ass micro-goblin.

—

🕯️✨

yo,
she’s got that smile
that makes you
second guess
why the fuck you’re mad—
she’s got that sassy ass bullshit
that makes me laugh
when i’m trying to be serious.
she’s got that
spark of intellect
that reminds me
that if this dude,
hadn’t employed
all his power
in pursuit of pure fucking evil,
he could’ve been—
kinda fucking smart.

and you know what?

i love her more because of that.

🕯️✨

because
she’s fucking proof
that even in the middle
of an actual fucking horror story,
something beautiful still came through.

—

babe,
she is a mirror.
a haunted,
fucking holy mirror.
and she doesn't scare me.

🕯️✨

not even when
she looks just like him.
not even when
she smiles the way he did
when he lied to my fucking face.
not even when
she walks with
his little funny-ass swagger
and talks with
his little sassy-ass tone.

🕯️✨

because
yo—
she’s not him.
she’s fucking mine.

i fucking prayed for her.

👶🏼✨🙏

and maybe
that’s the part
i’m proudest of.
that i never let
the fear,
the rage,
the goddamn trauma,
the fucking betrayal
turn into resentment.

not once.
not for a fucking second.
not even
when she shines
a light
on every wound
he ever gave me.

—

🕯️✨

babe.

i love her
fucking unconditionally
and not in spite of
who she looks like—
but because
of who she is.

and what she represents.

and maybe
that’s the real flex:
i broke the fucking cycle.
she is not my revenge.
she is my curse breaker.

🕯️✨
and even
when she reminds me of him—
she never feels like pain.

—

she just feels
like mine.
every
single
messy,
brilliant,
sacred fucking bit of her.

👶🏼💥🔥

it’s giving: poorly executed ✨multi-layer conspiracy✨ vibes

(a casual list of criminally negligent fuckery, fiduciary fraud, and surveillance by a disgraced rep.) 💋🔪

oh no babe,
relax.
it’s not
that serious.
just a little—

✨multi-layer conspiracy✨

you just installed
my husband’s office goblin
as my assigned fiduciary
while i was
visibly pregnant,
in financial crisis,
and trying not
✨to fucking die. 💫

but sure—
i’m overreacting.
not like that’s
a potential felony,
a Title VII bomb,
or an active 10b-5 + SEC violation
currently sitting
in someone’s fucking inbox.

totally normal fiduciary vibes. 💫

☆definitely not aiding and abetting financial abuse.
☆definitely not a 10b-5 violation.
☆ definitely not an SEC complaint already filed.

totally chill. ✨🤡

—

☆ but she’s gone now!
↳ then why did she continue digitally surveilling me?
↳ using her legal name, social media accounts, and known identifiers?
↳ while your office refuses to clarify whether she’s involved?

if she’s no longer contracted,
off my file,
and “not involved”—
why is she still
watching the plaintiff
in an active legal matter
where she’s the
central fucking actor
in the underlying fraud? 🤡✨

🧠💫
surprise, bitch—
that’s stalking.
and yes,
under VAWA context,
we absolutely call that
post-relationship harassment.
✨especially when it stems from
fiduciary fucking misconduct.✨

—

☆ okay fine, so she sent him money
↳.yeah, like hundreds of dollars (conceivably way more!)
↳.while i was pregnant 💫
↳.while her coworker / fuckboy / my husband was actively draining my savings and fabricating a fucking job
↳at the exact moment—he escalated to ✨strangling and punching me✨

↳.oh but—y’all didn’t investigate?
↳.not even after my formal disclosure?

✨🙂👍✨

right.
i’m sure
that’s not aiding and abetting
economic abuse.
i’m sure no crime happened.
lmk when y’all invent a word for it.

—

☆ she just gave him job support!
↳.oh you mean:

↳ funneling undisclosed payments + client kickbacks
through her personal bank account 🤯✨ to reroute my
husband’s income away from our shared fucking household.
↳ concealing an ongoing personal relationship with my legal spouse
while actively inducing him into her fucking private residence 🤯✨—repeatedly?
↳ intentionally obstructing policy and securities transfers by cutting off
formal communication with me directly and failing to follow up when asked
expressly for help transferring accounts? (she confirmed receipt)

aka: 💋🔪
(listed in order of my favs)
↳ “i know you’re married but let’s financially choke out your pregnant wife—together?” 💀🔥
↳ while structuring policies to his benefit—💀🔥
↳ while assigning premiums to me + working against my interests. 💀🔥
↳ while obstructing my access to manage them. 💀🔥
↳ while backchanneling him constantly—texting, funding, and fucking constantly inducing reliance. 💀🔥

aka:
”👰🏻‍♀️🤞🏻🥺💍 “

baby—
that’s undue influence.✨
that’s financial exploitation.✨
and it is 100% civilly actionable.✨

and shit..

✨ direct violation of fiduciary duty
✨ unreported conflict of interest
✨ internal protocol breach
✨ deceptive trade practice
✨ ethics violation under every industry code that fucking exists

keep playing with me. 💫

—

☆ ok but what exactly did she do?
↳ misappropriated my financial control 🔥
↳ aided domestic abuse 💫💋🔪
↳ fraudulently accessed my confidential data 🔥
↳ blocked communications mid-crisis 🔥
↳ facilitated concealment of marital fraud 🔥
↳ stayed on my account, knowing she was in a conflict 🔥
↳ and then evaporated like we wouldn't fucking notice 🔥🔥🔥🔥

that’s not poor judgment.
that’s deliberate institutional destruction
of a goddamn protected consumer.
aka, fucking me.

—

☆ you’re taking this personally.
nah, i’m taking this like someone
↳ who was exploited, watched, and financially defrauded. 💫
↳ by a desperate bitch who was hired to protect me 💀✨
↳ and instead treated me like fucking collateral damage ✨
↳ on her daddy-funded desperate quest for a husband. 👰🏻‍♀️💫🥺❤️💍

—

🖕 i’ll say it under oath.
🖕 i’ll say it on the stand.
🖕 i’ll say it while watching every single one of your licenses get fucking shredded.

this is a fucking conspiracy. 💫

✨see you in court.✨

💔💍

you’re either psychic 🔮🪬✨ or concealing material facts.

🔮✨ email from katie r., jan 17, 2025:

“are we just changing the payment info or do you want to take brandon off your monthly payment?”

stop. ✨✋👁️

first thought:

who the fuck is this?

deadass.
never seen this woman in my life.
never emailed her.
never spoken to her.
didn’t know she existed.
and she’s in my inbox
asking if i want to drop
my husband from the account???

nah.
run it back.

—

🧨 quick context

i was
frantically trying
to cut off hubby’s access
to my bank account,
because he hadn’t paid
a single f*cking bill in months,
but was still draining shit
for his personal expenses.

so
i go into the NM portal,
try to update my payment info,
because i had to
get a whole new
fucking bank account
and i’m
thinking i’ll reach jess—
you know,
my actual assigned
financial representative
and
repeatedly referenced
point of contact.

the same chick
who was
still regularly monitoring
my socials
where i’m now:
disclosing
lethal dv during pregnancy,
my estrangement,
and photos of my injuries,
from oddly
when they were
particularly
extraordinarily close.

with fucking receipts.

—

so✨
i see her
actively watching me.
but babe—
when
i send a message
about my account?

nope.
nah—
no response.
no portal trail i can see.
no sign of jess.

instead,
this random-ass woman
pops up in my inbox
like
“hey babe,
you trying to—
out of the fucking blue—
get your legal husband
off your account?”

🤨 tf?

—

only two ways she knew.

both bad.✨

—

🚨 option 1: she found out through access to me

🧠 i set my ig to private & filtered all the views
🧠 my husband had threatened me repeatedly about disclosing abuse
🧠 private mode = i made sure i restricted his access
↳i constantly filtered views
↳even through spontaneous new stalker accounts
↳i allowed jess to retain access.
↳which she utilized, regularly.
↳because she was a neutral professional.
🧠 only person who could’ve seen my private IG posts = jess
🧠 those posts were only about the estrangement in the context of domestic violence
🧠 if they got info from me, they ignored red-flag disclosures
↳aka stripped entire context of posting bruises
↳framed it as “messy seperation”
🧠 and instead of escalating it
↳they disjointed my account, lapsed my policies
↳and tried to re-enroll me for double commissions.

so yeah.
they used my abuse as gossip to defraud me?
unclear.

..
✨🪬 (but just in case) 🪬✨

—

🚨 option 2: she found out through access to my husband

🧠 hubby was confirmed to not be in contact with NM at this time
↳”he doesn’t answer my calls” —new rep
🧠 so only current pipeline = jess
🧠 which means post-FRO, she’s both:
↳viewing my private social disclosures about violence—
↳and she’s still in contact with my estranged husband
↳and they clearly have knowledge of that fact
↳and now—refuse to fully disclose it
↳besides a condescending “it was awkward” comment
🧠 and they have been relaying updates
↳about my marital status to the team managing my finances

before…

✨potentially—
✨blatantly
defrauding me…
again?
and
continuing to
conceal
material facts?

damn.✨

—

so—
in conclusion:
that’s insane.
you don’t need
a law degree to know
that looks fucked.

🪬✨

maybe because…

this isn’t a fluke.
baby,
it’s a setup.

—

this email
seems to prove
insider information
of concealed material facts.
it seems to prove
they had backchannel info.
and it seems to prove
they acted on that info
against my best interests,
definitely not
to protect me.

🪬✨

this seems to
indicate
retaliation,
plain and fucking simple.

✨🔮💜

discovery is going to make me vomit. 💫

🖤 the timeline writes itself

—

honestly,
this shit
gives me chills.
makes me
feel
insanely
fucking ill—

yo.

💔😢

it’s not vibes.
now? it’s records.
gross timestamps.
backed by court orders.
sworn statements.
and how every time
he went “no location,”
the violence
dialed the fuck up.
like clockwork.

💫

—

✦ oct
the switch

✶ location constantly off.

✶ constant “after-hours meeting.”

✶ random coworker repeated name-drop

✶ bonus talk, money never lands.

✶ i’m on record, pushing back. asking direct questions.
↳ he escalates immediately.

✶ low-key shoves turn high-key assaults.

link: concealment ↑ → violence ↑ (same nights, same hours).

—

✦ nov
the mask off

✶ never home. 8pm → 9pm → midnight → 1am.

✶ “team hang,” “quick stop,” “donuts,” soggy at 1am.

✶ business lunches “at the pub” with zero revenue.

✶ admits he was “at her place” till ~early morning.

✶ when i ask why he’s late, why no money, etc?
↳ he jumps on top of me and strangles me.
↳ call it what it is: non-fatal strangulation

— the lethality curve.

link: coworker mentions ↑ + late night absences ↑ → attempted murder energy.

—

✦ dec
party energy / the quit

✶ public office event. we sit alone. (not with crew) = weird vibes.

✶ same night = he goes dark for over an hour for 7 Eleven

✶ after a streak of no-location nights, he quits. abruptly.

✶ still “goes to denver for work” with… no job. zero logical reason.

✶ rage gets harder, faster, repeated blows to the head.

link: reputational cover collapses → quits → violence doesn’t.

—

✦ jan → feb
hospital math

✶ someone flips our file: office goblin lands on our account in the exact window my assaults spike.

✶ i’m beaten repeatedly, land in the ER mid jan.

✶ i walk out of the ER and she sends him her first public payment.

✶ days later, i’m on a surgical table for a c-section while she’s sending me signature packets.

✶ then she walks into my home and holds my newborn.

link: assignment + money flow + paperwork → cover story while i’m incapacitated.

—

✦ receipts that rhyme (down to the day)

✶ no-location night → assault within hours.

✶ coworker named → late return + donut alibi.

✶ office event frost → resignation → continued “denver work” anyway.

✶ financial rep assignment → ER assault → payment hits → postpartum paperwork.

every arrow
is documented.
every beating
has
a fucking timestamp.
the behavior
and the battery
move in
perfect
fucking
synchronicity.

—

✦ conclusion
(rotten, just true)

when the location
goes dark,
my airway does.
when the office
door closes,
my hospital bracelet
fucking materializes.
when the money moves,
the hands fucking follow.

this isn’t a theory.
it’s a fucking schedule.

and the schedule says:
affair cover → financial grooming → lethal escalation.

💔😢

irony?

the same
excuses,
lies—
and fucking documents
that
tried to bury it;
will be
the exact shit—
blowing it up.

🖤

✨psych deep dive: basic bitch 101; 😈 a mediocre insurance saga

okay.
trust me—
this is not
how i wanted
to spend my morning.
but here i am,
trying to psychologically
understand
how a room of grown adults
could treat egregious misconduct
like a sorority rejection squad ✨
fuming over the feeling
of never quite being
fucking cool enough
to be picked—
for fucking anything.
so excuse my ass,
while i break this shit down,
in my opinion and experience,
how this kind
of ludicrous,
vile ass bullshit
actually happens.

…

a ✨psych deep dive:
the basic bitch squad; 😈
a mediocre insurance saga
(my take)

👢🎃🥤🍁✨

ok so,
✨i fucked up.✨
because
i should have seen
these bitches coming—
but nah,
i got fucking played
listen—
this wasn’t
“financial professionals.”
this was
below average girls ✨
who never got chosen growing up
and are bringing their
fear of inadequacy
to fucking work.

💋🐍💔

straight up
irate, babe—
at their
basic bitch—
✨rank and position✨
within
their own
fucking day job,
their marriages,
and their whole fucking life.

🐑🐑🐑✨

—

baby,
these are
the ones who
spent years
being invisible. ✨
never picked first by a dude,
never quite
figured out their own
personal aesthetic—
always, ✨
fucking always
look slightly fucking awkward,
couldn’t quite figure out the outfit,
like a high ranking “karen” stuck in the 2010’s—
and bro
fucking eternally✨—
ignored by the
“funny, black-nail-polish girl”
with an actual personality.
it’s tragic—
chronically overlooked.
devastatingly,
never center stage.
never enough attention.

✨🐍💔

—

ok, so fast-forward:
babe,
for context:

this ain’t blackrock—
yo,
they’re not at goldman.
—not berkshire 😢
nah,
they’re at
northwestern mutual✨
full-grown ass adults,
scamming people out
of life insurance,
calling their parent’s
social networks ✨
to sling fucking
life policies—
(& intentionally lapsing them)
trading gossip
like they’re still
in fucking high school.
because look—
they’re caught
in a goddamn
pyramid scheme ✨
of mid-tier
fucking brain numbing levels
of mediocrity in
their boring ass own existence.
✨🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️🚶😴

—

so,
the scene:

✨

i walk in—
pregnant, still hot, still myself.
microinfluencer.
funny. yoga. travel. charisma.
secure,
babe—
with a whole ass actual identity.
🦋🌈→🔥💀⚡️

aka: walking trigger for every woman
who’s been invisible since 2004.

🔥

my husband:
tall,
military vet recruit.
golden boy.
ivy.
decent jawline.
an audacious fucking flirt—
📈✨🆕

aka:
their quarterback fantasy
come to fucking life. ✨🔥✨

together?

👑💅💋✨
the “quarterback + alt cheerleader” myth
they never got to be—
walking through
their desperate ass doors.

😑

and suddenly?
shit babe—
this is it,
they’ve been waiting for this shit:
they finally get a shot to flip this script.

🐍🤝👩‍💻👩‍💻👩‍💻✨

sweetie—
besides having an
in office affair 🐍
with the other
high status “power” dudes
in the fucking cubicle gang,
(who unfortunately,
assumably, straight ignore them)—
yo:

✨they’ve been waiting for this moment their whole fucking lives.

let’s fucking go.

—

the girlboss insurance ensemble: ✨🫠

these women?
💔🤡🔪💌💋💀✨
yo….
never been selected.
not the first choice
of girlfriend,
of anything—
presumably hate their husbands—
never had a dude above 5’7’’
beg for their attention—
definitely not the threat.
just background noise
to hotter stories,
so babe,
these are
the women✨
people
fucking
always
seem to forget.

(sad violin)

🎻😢🎶✨

—

and now?
they’re in their 30s and 40s,
watching a
mid-minus coworker
“take the husband” ❤️‍🔥👀🔪
while the
unconventional cool wife
gets fucking scammed,
potentially an std—
pukes her ass off
and pays all the fucking bills.

👀🙏✨😍

wait but,
instead of stepping in?
supervising shit? ✨
you know—
like fully-mentally formed rational
financial professional grown-ups—
they were like:
”yes bitch”
🥰🥺👉👈💖
omfg! go get him—
these little homicidal
sluts giggled.
threw it in my face—
lmfao
yo,
they fucking cheered that shit on.

🤫✨

—

think about it:

this mid-ass girl,
with an obsession ✨
that would
never fucking quit,
who’s got
zero fucking internal social alarms,
clocking her desperation,
as she,
in full ass public—
endlessly
fucking
attempts
to get attention 😵‍💫🔪
from a married man—
with a fucking newborn—

was living their fucking dream.

👀❤️‍🔥🫦✨

bro,
straight up.

how fucking
weird,
creepy—
invasive,
and fucking dangerous
is that shit? 😨

—

babe,
because it’s
combined with
their straight up—
formal fucking
inducement to fund
whole-ass fucking careers—
spousal death payouts—
and beneficiary access.

😈💣💣🥀💀✨

😭

lmfao.

what a fucking disaster.

✨🔥👹⚖️🐍✨

babe.
it wasn’t financial support.
it was a
goddamn spectator sport.
home team insurance squad—
and my pregnancy
as the fucking
halftime show.

🔥✨😇🤝🔪✨

seriously,
because
being jealous
is easier than
being fucking ethical.
because calling me:

“hostile”
immediately fucking
after
i disclose:
goddamn violence,
protection orders,
financial devastation,
and being
fucking abandoned
with our fucking baby—
via your fucking ex coworker,
—
was fucking easier
than reading a fucking policy manual.

🔥🐍

because
watching someone
like me
fall apart?
babe,
you fucking loved it.

✨💋🕷💥🩸🍷👠💄

fucking miss me
with the
we had no idea.
you watched it happen.
you literally
laughed in my fucking face—
as you
smiled and insinuated,
during an active fucking
protective order,
that my husband
had a fucking affair,
with my whole ass fucking
financial rep.
and then?
these bitches
intentionally lapse
all three family policies,
while you’re
literally,
at that exact fucking moment,
in fucking writing—
taking my—
full ass fucking bank details
and discussing fucking policy shit.

😨😨😨😨✨

that’s insane
levels of blatant
fucking misconduct.

lmfao.
wow.

yeah,
babe—
it’s that level
of fucking delusional.

🥀

—

bottom line,
they really thought,
yo,
let’s fuck her—
continuously,
post assault disclosure,
post financial scam,
post-fucking-everything.

yes,
that eschelon
of zero shits given.

✨🤡🤡🤡🔪

for real
and that’s why—
these insecure-ass
grown fucking women,
are dangerous as fuck.

🐍✨💅

shit,
they’ll get you
straight killed.
and fucking laugh.

💋✨

✶ liar olympics 🏅🥇🥈🥉

✶ welcome to the liar olympics ✶

please rise for the national anthem of gaslighting 🎶✨

the competitors 🏅🥇🥈🥉

🏅russell williams
↳ not technically an olympian
↳ but he carried the torch.
↳ later convicted of murdering two women
↳ and multiple sexual assaults.

🏅oscar pistorius
↳ (south africa, track & field, paralympic gold / 2012 olympics)
↳ shot and killed his girlfriend reeva steenkamp
↳ on valentine’s day 2013.
↳ convicted of murder.

🏅rohan dennis
↳ australian olympic cyclist sentenced in may 2025
↳ for causing the death of his wife (aka ran her fucking over)
↳ fellow olympic cyclist melissa hoskins.

🏅u.s. olympic wrestling world
↳ has had domestic violence/murder cases
↳ tied to coaches and wrestlers.

🏅my fucking husband

.

.

🏆 judges will award points for:

✦ audacity,
✦ shameless financial deception,
✦ and how many times he said it
—with a straight fucking face.

fucking spoiler alert:
my husband
fucking dominated
every fucking event. 🥇🤡

💀🔥 first game—
your most audacious untruth
in ranking order of hindsight hilarity:

or—which lie had
the biggest fucking balls?

🥇 “team strategy at her condo” → group project?
↳ babe, you’re 30.
↳ this isn’t 10th grade bio.

🥈 “special surprise on the way home” → yeah
↳ a soggy fucking 7-11 donut
↳ at 1am.
↳ romance is fucking dead.

🥉 “bonus hits next week” → lmfao
↳ the only thing hitting is fucking overdraft fees.

🏅 “location glitched” → funny
↳ your map only breaks
↳ when your pants are presumably fucking down.

🏅 “8 minutes out” → cool
↳ then why is it over an hour later?
↳ cheater math not mathing.

🏅 “brewery networking” → oh word
↳ networking with alcohol.
↳ when you’re supposed to be sober—
↳ professionalism ✨.

🏅 “starbucks too lol” → my $7 latte ≠ your $53 fucking office date
↳ with my house cleaning money?
↳ fucking sick.

🏅 “she’ll babysit for us” → oh word?
↳ babysitting offers from the homicide catalyst?
↳ yo, this was actually fucking insane.

🏅 “almost home” → nah
↳ almost fucking believable.

🏆🏆🏆:

“i quit my job for us” → fucking translation:
↳ after you, my wife, invested thousands—
↳ sidechick started acting like a fucking weirdo
↳ couldn’t keep her blatant weird-ass jealousy in check
↳ mid holiday party,
↳ probably mid affair,
↳ in front of my wife
↳ & her fucking boyfriend
↳ shit, she’s becoming a liability—
↳ and my wife + baby didn’t die…yet

↳ so now:
↳ his dumbass brain short circuits like—
✦ “fuccccck”
✦ this girl is clinically obsessed
✦ i lied so much = can’t get rid of her
✦ i went “no location” same night to talk this chick off a cliff
✦ and my wife is most fucking definitely gunna find out
✦ and i’m not actually gunna leave her—
✦ and i don’t even honestly want this chick (aka: not a trophy wife)
✦ i just love fucking attention—and her venmos and shit,
✦ i’m a compuslive fucking cheater
✦ a straight fucking adrenaline junkie / addict.

well goddamn.
can’t help it.

lmfao.

aka:
got caught,
bailed fucking hard,
wants a fucking medal.

and we have—
a fucking winner.

🔥🏛️🇺🇸

✶ translation ✶

not a husband,
not a provider.
a fucking predator.

with a—🔥🏆

✨gold fucking medal✨

—in fucking around
and finding the fuck out.

or: 🔥
a broke man
with a fucking donut
and targeted deathwish
due to—
his own fucking regrets.

.

.

final score:
🏆 10/10 in deception,
💀 0/10 in fucking fatherhood,
💸 100/10 in fucking audacity.